Escaping the cold from outside, Adam Fraley sat in his warm living room with his partner, Zach Morrison. The front window fogged as the couple sat comfortably on the couch. The Christmas lights wrapped around logs in the fireplace illuminated the room with a calming glow.
The conversation, however, wasn’t as calming.
Fraley, a Ball State alumnus, made national news when he left the First United Methodist Church in Alexandria, Ind. Fraley’s reasoning was that he felt uncomfortable after an interim minister found out he was gay.
“The first time I met him, I got this really uneasy feeling as he kept asking about me getting back together with my ex-wife,” Fraley said. “And I kind of chuckled and said, ‘That’s not going to happen.’ He started overloading my workload as the choir director and forced me out of the position.”
Fraley left the church in December 2012, but his faith wasn’t shaken.
Growing up in Alexandria, Fraley’s family, who he described as deeply religious, attended a Church of God. The Church of God condemns homosexuality, and so did his dad. But Fraley knew he was different, which worried him throughout his childhood.
“I hate to use the word ‘normal,’” he said. “But I wasn’t a normal, typical boy.”
He wasn’t into sports like the other boys, but he enjoyed music and choir and had mostly female friends. In fifth grade, he joined a summer art program and developed his first crush on another male student. He couldn’t stop staring, but as he stared, he could feel the knots forming in his stomach.
“I thought he was so handsome,” Fraley said. “But as I looked at him, I felt like I was going to get sick. I remember thinking this is what my dad talks about not being right. I was very ashamed and worried.”
The thoughts would continue through middle school and high school.
Fraley began to date women, and he married his first love at age 21.
A heterosexual church wedding is what he thought God would want. One year later, they had a daughter. During the next couple of years, Fraley’s attraction to men grew stronger. He prayed to take away the feelings that he got from seeing other men at the gym, but it wasn’t working.
When he was 24, Fraley first came out as a bisexual to his wife and family. The news didn’t settle well with his father, but Fraley was coming to terms with himself.
Coming to terms with his Christianity would take a little longer, he said.
It’s been 10 years since Fraley came out of the closet, but it wasn’t until his late 20s that he accepted both being gay and Christian.
“I drifted away from religion because I didn’t want to be part of a group that thought I didn’t belong,” he said. “When I took the position at the church, it really helped me embrace my faith once again. To my surprise, the church welcomed me and loved me regardless.”
Fraley was 28 when he started leading the choir at the First United Methodist Church. He held the position for six years until the church hired the interim minister who would drive Fraley out of his position.
This didn’t sit well with the congregation, including church lay leader David Steele. Steele’s job was to communicate issues or concerns between the congregation and the minister. He made it a goal to make sure the next minister to take over would allow Fraley to return to his position.
Six months later, the church raised the money to bring Fraley back and found a new interim minister to accept his lifestyle. But once the new interim arrived, he retracted his feelings about giving Fraley the position back and refused him the job.
A short time later, the district superintendent of the church intervened and began speaking with Steele about his stance.
“They asked me why I was standing up for this guy, didn’t I know about Leviticus and the other verses in the Bible that deal with homosexuality?” Steele said. “I told them, ‘Yes, I was a preacher’s son, but I just believe in accepting everybody for who they are, not what you think they are.’”
The superintendent then relieved both Steele and his wife from their leadership position in the church, which the board and the congregation didn’t like.
“After this, we thought this wasn’t fair for [Fraley],” Steele said. “He is well-liked in the community by former classmates and family and friends.”
It was then that two-thirds of the congregation left, and they have yet to return. From there, the story spread like wildfire to get national attention from major news sites, such as The Huffington Post.
As his story was being told, Fraley was scared of the repercussions it would have on his and Morrison’s teaching jobs. Additionally, Fraley was worried about the effect it would have on his 11-year-old daughter.
“We decided, as a family, to stand beside each other,” Morrison said. “If everyone was going to support Adam through this, then we had to not only be support for him as well, but to support those leaving the church.”
Photo by Breanna Daugherty
Since November when the congregation split, the Fraley supporters have met once for breakfast in Alexandria. Fraley and Morrison predicted it would be a small gathering, but their expectations were shattered when they couldn’t find a parking space.
“I’m not an emotional person, but when I walked in and saw almost 80 people standing around, I got a little teary eyed,” Morrison said. “I know this whole experience has really strengthened my beliefs, and it’s shown me how embracing people can be.”
Fraley, Morrison and the congregation are still trying to get everyone back into the First United Methodist Church. There’s a petition with 20,000 signatures already, and those that left the church are meeting to brainstorm ways to peacefully protest the interim minister.
On Sunday, 20 to 30 people showed up to the church wearing matching blue shirts that showed their support for Fraley. The pastor, however, closed the doors on Fraley and his supporters at first for 15 minutes. Eventually, he opened the doors to those willing to worship, but not the media.
Fraley is permitted to attend the church, but he cannot take back his role as choir director. He will continue to fight until he is welcomed back into the church for who he is: a gay man.
“It’s such a great feeling that everyone has been so supportive to get me back into the church,” Fraley said. “I can’t see myself going to another church. The people and atmosphere made [First United Methodist Church] home.”
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