Picture a professional cyclist.
Long, lean muscles propelling and speeding down any road that beckons in challenge. Tight shirt rippling easily as the wind fights back. Wheels spinning rhythmically while eyes perpetually refocus on that which lies ahead.
Now picture this cyclist in a prom dress.
Here's a certifiable problem: Girls don't ride bikes.
OK, that's an overstatement. But respectable girls around here who utilize cycling transport consistently are as easy to find as your motivation for Finals Week.
Every group of cycling buddies I know are full of just men. When and why did this happen?
Don't stop reading because you think I'm a burning angry feminist. I'm not sure I even truly know what a feminist is, but I can say with certainty that girls can ride bikes just as well as men.
I might even argue that our power-pumped legs might trump men's meaty arms in the field of bike ease.
Maybe more girls want to ride bikes but are intimidated by their lack of female counterparts cruising down the road. I can understand. Breaking gender stereotypes is a long and difficult task.
Luckily, our gender also features complete permission to blow ridiculous amounts of money relaxing in a spa because "you've worked hard" and "you deserve it." Bike away!
Still having trouble dragging that old Schwinn out of the garage?
I've come up with a few tips for you ladies out there who have sad codependent relationships with your cars, which suck your money for gas and suck the life out of your legs.
These problems are definitely not limited to the non-riding females of the world; men can listen up, too.
But first let's make sure you're ready to ride. Do you have a bike? Do you have legs? Check check?
We're good. Let's begin.
ESSENTIAL EQUIPMENT
I want to cry when I see Muncie girls swerving around the sidewalks, arms and legs spread wide and tall as they try to get anywhere on goofy-looking cruisers (featuring baskets and bells) that don't fit them.
Get a decent bike. I'm not an elitist here, either. I started riding a heavy old monster of a mountain bike whose grips are disintegrating at the ends after I sold the much nicer, but slightly small, Schwinn my parents bought me as a pre-teen.
Think I'm crazy? I am, but this time I make sense. It doesn't matter if a bike is shiny; it matters if it fits and works. My ugly white dinosaur of a bike is sized excellently and can haul ass. So get something you like, but ask an expert for help, too.
Also on the topic of equipment, don't forget to get bike lights, a helmet and a U-Lock.
SEAT SITUATION
This is a two-part problem.
The first problem reverts back the aforementioned issue that bike sizing is apparently extremely challenging - it actually isn't.
Get your seat in the air. Stop riding with your knees up to your earlobes. Your legs should be almost straight when you're on a down pedal.
Secondly, get your seat off the seat. Biking is not like sitting in a recliner. You will keep yourself safer if you're ready to lean forward, stand up, stop or pump out some pedal strokes with Amazonian warrior princess strength to get yourself over a hill or out of danger.
I understand all of this sounds scary for you balance-challenged, which brings me to my next point.
PEDAL PRACTICE
Riding a bike around town takes practice and skill, so do it, and do it somewhere safe.
Practice mounting your bike properly (Google it). Practice stopping, coming forward, adjusting your pedal height and starting again.
Make sure you can do all of it quickly without slamming on your face. It doesn't matter if you're breaking gender stereotypes by riding if you suck at it and get yourself killed.
So always err on the side of caution and ride with hyper-alertness in safe places, not throwing yourself into anything you have to dodge things to get away from.
And now you're a cyclist!
Well, maybe not yet. But keep practicing and don't let the fact that you have boobs stop you.
As someone who rides every day, has flipped over her handlebars and survived and is learning how to fix her jank derailleur - trust me when I say the road to female cycling kingdom is a great ride.
-á
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