WASHINGTON - "Step back! Doors closing," the automated voice commands as I step into the Metro subway car.
Once inside I lean against the door and do my usual look around the car for anything interesting or life-threatening. My eyes soon stop at my feet, where inches away a small child - maybe 5 or 6 years old - sits and skims a large-print book. Clearly not life-threatening. Curious, I begin skimming the book, too.
"ABBREVIATIONS," the page title says. My focus trickles down the list of definitions for shortened phrases such as "a.m.," "p.m." and other acronyms. As my eyes surf the page spread from the left, I come across a shaded area on the far right. My mind begins to process the words in front of me.
"BRB: Be Right Back," "LOL: Laughing Out Loud" and a list of others stand firm in black ink. The title of the shaded box references the acronyms as Internet/text messaging shorthand. I continue reading along from far above. Eventually, the child angles the book so the title can be read.
"My First Dictionary," the cover says.
Digital shorthand is now part of the youth education curriculum. Now we have to teach this stuff?
OMG!
Soon after I started regularly using the Internet, somewhere around AOL's peak and when dial-up sounds were still cool, I had pages of acronyms, emoticons and trivial Web junk taped up to the wall next to my computer. A few highlights:
A crayon: ()))))))))>
A rose: @-'--,--'-
Marge Simpson: @@@@@:-o
WRUDATM: What Are You Doing At The Moment?
ROFLMAOWTIME: Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off With Tears In My Eyes.
OMGYSABICBYCOMWTS: Oh My God, You're Such a Bitch I Can't Believe You Cheated On Me With That Slut!
Naturally, and for the better, some of these rather excessive phrases were lost in the move to the year 2000. Also lost in translation was the overwhelming desire to end conversations and fancy Web chats with "POOF!"
Our self-taught generation is on its way up the academic and corporate ladders, and a new generation of Tickle-Me-Elmo-loving text-aholics is rising. Highly unscientific reports by technology companies insisting we need more gadgets say multitasking is at an all-time high, and our nation, our world, cannot stand to lose seconds of productivity because someone doesn't understand, "WTF."
This is a top issue, one surely preparing to dominate the presidential election. We need firm leadership in this time of shorthand uncertainty. We need a vision. We need a plan.
No Child Texts Behind!
This idle time watching Sesame Street and Nickelodeon must be replaced with interactive programs and consoles allowing our nation's youth to interact with one another:
Toddler4: "oscar is such a grouch and so is ur mom! lol"
BabyMommaDrama: "fu SIOIT [Stop It Or I'm Telling]"
Toddler4: "idk y ur being mean, i was messin.. r u still mad bc the sandbox thing"
BabyMommaDrama: "u peed in my castle mote on purpose... ur a LLPOF [Liar, Liar Pants on Fire]"
Toddler4: "w/e ... INALYMAL [I'm Not A Liar, Your Mom Is A Liar!]... and a grouch!"
*Awkward silence*
Toddler4: "jk!"
Realistically, if we're not careful we'll be introducing these acronyms well before youth fully understand the meaning of the words behind them. These phrases are staples in society, or at least pop culture, so not teaching them would be doing a disservice. It's frightening to know the words we picked up and created from/for casual online conversation are now being taught in the early stages of childhood education.
It's got to start somewhere, though.
Via book, Web dictionary, MySpace or otherwise, these terms need learned. And, yes, to someone still grasping the English language, there's likely a small learning curve. That's right, somewhere, someplace, in some school, "BRB" is on a flash card.
And it's our collective fault.
Our generation ushered these phrases into culture, and we're responsible for passing the lexicon down to the incoming class.
A lot is at stake here. Without this knowledge transfer, the world could very well cease to function. The very core of civilization could rot from a corruption of efficient communication!
... jk.
Write to Dave atheydave@bewilderedsociety.com
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