Sometimes I feel like the last of a great generation. We didn't have a great war or a great depression, but we had danger. We went through the crucible of potentially deadly playground equipment, entire neighborhoods devoid of parental supervision and questionable television, and I'm convinced that we came out better for it.
My elementary school playground came equipped with a giant boulder and a 15-foot tall metal slide. On top of that, both deathtraps sat in a sea of pebbles. These are very unforgiving things when you have the coordination of a seven year old. Nurse visits were frequent, but here's the kicker: no one died on the playground. No one even got seriously injured. The powers that be took those pieces out of that playground along with a few other injury-causing contraptions, and do you know how that made me feel? It pissed me off. It felt like losing a part of who I was. After all, that sense of danger and adventure and recklessness is part of who I am today, and I would venture to guess that it's a part of you as well.
The same goes for the television shows I grew up with. I know I'm not alone in loving "Doug," "Ren and Stimpy," "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" and "Rocko's Modern Life." What made them so brilliant? They weren't trying to teach a lesson like Dora, that infamous termagant who would rather kids learn to regurgitate information than create. They were just trying to make us laugh or imagine or have fun, and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I wish more people would engage in these types of activities on a daily basis. The world would be a much happier place.
Maybe I'm a little screwed up because my idea of humor is merchandising a plain, old oak log as a child's toy that will "roll over the neighbor's dog" or a big burly man who farts on powdered toast to make it taste good. Maybe I'm just interesting.
Today's kids are being deprived of all the wonderful shows of our generation that encouraged creativity and imagination. That's a crime. Worse, though, is the role of parents in their children's lives. Rather than monitor their child's viewing habits, they are content to blame television producers and network executives for the sex and violence available to kids.
Rather than holding a toddler, parents have been reduced to using leashes. Sure, it might be a little funny at first to see some kid getting dragged around by the neck until we stop to realize we did that to our dogs just this morning. I mean, we keep cattle (well, not me personally) in pens like the chain-link fences and cribs that herd in our children. Maybe it's time we start to differentiate between human children and domesticated animals. Am I alone in believing that we should cultivate that natural wonder and imagination that children come into this world equipped with rather than shape them into flocks of identical sheep? Though child-down socks would probably itch less than wool.
I know what you're thinking, "you're all talk; you've never raised a child." Well, you're right, but I've read extensively from one very famous father by the name of Charles Darwin. He preached "survival of the fittest" which might just be a good approach to the problem of raising our children. The world is over-populated anyway. Let's tear down the fences and unleash the children, and then we'll see how well these young parents are teaching their kids. You know that the ones that make it home at the end of the day are the ones we can trust to take hold of our nation when we're too old to take care of ourselves. I'm not trying to be insensitive; I just don't want a kid that's dumb enough to walk in front of a car to grow up to rule the country that I love.
America, please listen to reason and let your kids play in the street if they want to.
Write to Brad at bthorn@bsu.edu
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