With the first two weeks of October coming to an end, that time of year is quickly approaching us. The time of year when girls wear skirts that barely cover their hindquarters (yes, I said hindquarters) and tops more revealing than bikinis. Then they innocently claim to be a secretary when in reality most girls on Halloween know darn well they are simply dressed as strippers. Blunt I know, but very true.
I figured I would write this before any of the other columnists for Ball State write an article bashing college girls for dressing up like a police officer, angel, maid and secretary whores on Halloween. So let me get to my point and try to justify why girls wear the sluttiest outfits possible on Halloween...
Because they can.
It's as simple as that.
It's the one day out of the year girls can dress as promiscuous as they want and get away with it. No judgment is passed by other girls because they are also skanking it up in schoolgirl costumes, guys openly love it and those who don't dress up can't say anything because it's Halloween.
I love how when you ask girls what they're going to be for Halloween, they reply with something like, "Oh I'm going to be a nurse." No you're not. Nurses have tight, binding collars that button all the way to the top of the neck, sneakers, white pantyhose and carry around clipboards and long hypodermic needles. Or even more realistically, they just wear a pair of scrubs. You're wearing a white mini-dress that unbuttons down to your navel, six-inch stiletto heels and a stethoscope. You're not a nurse. You're a stripper nurse.
"I'm going as a schoolgirl." Hardly. School girls wear Halloween sweaters their mothers pick out, braces and Velcro shoes. You are wearing a plaid skirt that barely covers your butt crack, knee high socks, a button up shirt without using the buttons, and a pencil behind your ear. You're not a school girl. You're a stripper school girl.
My favorite is the police officer. "I'm a police officer." That's great, except the last police officer I saw wasn't wearing fishnet hose, aviator sunglasses, a top slightly bigger than a bra and going around handcuffing random people. (Although with Muncie police officers, this might not be far from the truth.) Police officers wear black pants, black dress shoes and blue, collared shirts fully buttoned. You are not a cop.
You're a stripper cop.
Guys seem to also enjoy dressing up as skanky women on Halloween too. Make a mental note how many guys you see dressed up as women this Halloween. More than you would think. I personally wouldn't want to spend the night wearing heels, a skirt and fake boobs if I was a guy. But hey, maybe they figure it's the one day they can also get away with dressing as the opposite sex without getting any trouble for it.
Enjoy the one day out of the year when you can dress as trashy and promiscuous as you want to. Don't worry about offending others or being too revealing. Just have fun and enjoy being something totally out of your character.
What am I going as? Alice in Wonderland. I mean stripper Alice in Wonderland.
But hey ... it's Halloween, it's fun and I can get away with it.
Write to Jessica at jemohr@bsu.edu
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