Are women good at understanding the excuses men give them? Or are women good at ignoring the excuses men give them?
As I reflect on my past relationships and listen to others talk about their relationships, just one phrase seems to come to mind: "He's just not that into you."
Many of you may have heard of the book "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I heard about it uncountable times before I actually opened the book, but am I glad I did.
I am telling every girl - and male if you wish - that this book is an all-females-must-read type of book.
Picture this:
You've been seeing a guy for quite some time, but you are not dating because he is really busy or he just isn't ready for what we call a relationship. You have a great time, you are intimate, and he is really nice. You think if you give it time things could develop and you will be together. After all, the murky relationship is better than no relationship.
Many females have been in that situation or a similar one. We pick a guy and forget what it's all about. We forget that it's all about a guy who wants us, wants to call us and makes us feel sexy.
Falling asleep crying over a guy is a red flag. You always making the phone call and putting in the effort is a red flag. Him always saying he is too busy to talk to you or to see you is a red flag. When you are intimate with a guy and spend a lot of your time with him but everything is grey and he wants to avoid the commitment conversation, that is a red flag.
Women often sense these red flags but choose to ignore them because they look at the guy they are really into and remember those warm fuzzy memories and run with them because they hope he really is into them.
Instead of recognizing those red flags and jetting out of a mess, they refuse to believe the red flag and accept that he's just not that into them.
I often hear females say "Ugh! Guys are so complicated!"
Are they?
Women, you want truth? Here is the truth as I learned it from the book. Guys tell us how they feel even if we refuse to listen or to believe them. "I don't want to be in a serious relationship" doesn't mean "Try harder." It doesn't mean "Stick around and we'll see." "I don't want to be in a serious relationship" means "I don't want to be in a serious relationship."
Ladies, when you find a guy who is really in to you, you won't have to be maniac obsessive-compulsive phone checkers to see if you have a missed call - I know you know exactly what I'm talking about. You will never feel absolutely ticked off at yourself for picking up the phone and calling him when you know you shouldn't have. You won't have to be that way because he will call you and he will adore you.
My advice to all the females reading this today is to go pick up the book "He's just not that into you." It's an easy read, it's hysterical and it's all so true.
Read why he's not into you, so you can finally stop wasting your time and find the guy who is into you.
Shauna Larson is a sophomore women's studies and sociology major and writes 'Through My Eyes' for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper.
Write to Shauna at snlawson@bsu.edu.
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