In Cameron Crowe's genius movie, "Say Anything," Ione Skye breaks up with a very young John Cusack because her father convinces her that he is a distraction from her studies.
She sits in his beat up car and hands him a pen, asks him to write and Lloyd Dobbler delivers the memorable line "I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen." "Diane" Skye leaves, walks into her car and cries. Not the Hollywood crap, but a genuine sob, like any other girl would do.-á
This is an example of Diane losing the battle of head versus heart. -á
We may come to college to find our bridesmaids and not get too caught up in the hunt for a husband, but when you fall, you fall and usually you'd rather stay in those muddy waters of love than do much else.-á After all, there is nothing like loving and being loved. Why wouldn't we want to feel those remarkable feelings?-á
Oftentimes, we get comfortable in relationships.
Dates are no longer dinners out, seeing movies the midnight that they open or going ice-skating. We've become so used to the flip-flop feeling in your gut that you hardly know it's there or even if it's there at all. These are signs that something needs to be changed in this game, or it will become a stomping ground.
John Mayer has taught us about the joys of grey-sweatpants-not-make-up-so-perfect-comfortable relationships, but I'd be surprised if that kind of love lacks the spark.
Distance, drive and direction cannot be ignored in this diversion of love, but we want so badly to think that we can be compatible with someone who doesn't have goals or passion when your fire is so ignited that you could take off like a rocket at any moment.
I've learned that sometimes it takes more than love. Paul McCartney would argue with me and say "all you need is love," but I don't think he was in a long distance relationship with a woman who didn't have passion. -á
We battle head versus heart in countless relationships.
When is it time to stop listening to our mind to follow our heart? When should we be mindful and realistic? This is one of life's toughest questions, and I don't have the answer.
I wish I could pull out of a black bag the solutions to these mixed up problems, but I, too, find myself just as confused as you are. I believe in the end we have to come to an understanding with our partner.
If making 300 miles seem like three, it takes sacrifice but can be done. If life direction means marrying you, then maybe your sweetheart isn't all that drive-less. Remember what it was like to have those unbelievable feelings and how they will come back again, if you do decide that enough is enough. -á
In the end, neither head nor heart wins. It s an uphill battle that we challenge ourselves with everyday in all forms of companionship, and the real success is when everything balances out.-á Be selfish and do what is best for you, because when it all boils down you have to take care of yourself.-á
Every situation varies from person to person, but maybe we should forget about our restless minds that over think, and our yearning hearts that skip too many beats and just go with our gut.
Chelsea Picken is a sophomore theater major and writes 'A Shot in the Dark' for the Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper.
Write to Chelsea at cppicken@bsu.edu.
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