Get excited, because now, for the first time, you're going to be able to take your peanut butter on the go. Isn't that terrific news?
According to a commercial that I heard on the radio, our good friends at Jif are bringing us Jif To Go.
Since the inception of peanut butter, peanut butter aficionados have been dipping all sorts of stuff in their peanut butter: carrots, apples, celery, crackers.
Well, now the same great peanut buttery taste that you love can go with you anywhere: work, school, the game, wherever. Aren't you excited? I'm not. I'm confused.
I heard this commercial on the radio, so I had no idea as to what the product looked like. Peanut butter to go? Is it like a toothpaste tube filled with peanut butter?
That seems impractical. But then again, this whole idea seems stupid and impractical.
I mean, I've never once been in a situation where I've found myself saying, "Well, I have all these celery stalks and these raisins, but no peanut butter. Damnit, I wish they wouldn't put peanut butter in such unwieldy containers."
I always thought peanut butter was already in a pretty good to go format. Your average peanut butter jar weighs a mere eighteen ounces and fits nicely in a pocket or purse and even the standard cup holder.
Are there really people out there going, "I really wanted to bring peanut butter with me, but I don't want to bring the whole jar. I sure wish they would package single servings of peanut butter."?
Well, apparently, there are people out there asking for tiny cups of peanut butter, because that's what the people at Jif made. Essentially, they are selling individually sealed cups containing two ounces of peanut butter, or one-ninth of a whole jar, if you're into fractions.
This doesn't make a lot of sense to me because when using peanut butter, what if two ounces is too much? Even worse, what if two ounces isn't enough!?
In these two scenarios, you would be either forced to throw away the excess peanut butter or open up another cup, giving you exactly four ounces. This is where the old fashioned jar would come in handy. Using only a common household kitchen knife, a consumer can successfully apply any desired amount of peanut butter directly from a jar onto the food stuffs of their choosing.
And the best part? No peanut butter is wasted, even if the particular serving does not happen to fall exactly on a two ounce interval. You used three ounces? Cool, just put the lid back on and come back later.
This got me thinking: There are obviously people who work for Jif on a research and development team whose sole job consists of thinking of new fun and exciting ways to experience peanut butter. I want this job. I'd show up for work, "We've got creamy, we've got crunchy. Come on, I think that about covers it. I'm going to lunch."
Are there research and development people at all food companies? Do they have think tanks over at Hellmann's, full of guys trying to think of ways to make mayonnaise fun?
That just seems kind of disgusting. I think the last thing we need is new ways to experience mayo. Imagine Hellmann's body lotion.
Motto: Just slop some on your face, we guarantee it'll change your complexion.
Companies don't need to give consumers new ways to enjoy commonplace products. Jif became a multimillion dollar company just by selling straight-up peanut butter. Can't they leave well enough alone? Maybe I'm just a Skippy man.
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