With Valentine's Day approaching, those couples in long-distance relationships find themselves in a difficult situation. However, the availability of technology such as cell phones, instant messaging and e-mails has allowed students to continue dating despite not being able to see one another very often.
June Payne, director of the Counseling Center, said of all those individuals who come in for therapy or counseling assistance, more than 30 percent of the cases are in regard to relationship problems of some sort.
John Stachula, psychologist at the Counseling Center, said while it is different for everybody, when he gets people who are having difficulties with their long-distance relationships, he tells them it is important to make sure they continue communicating, even if it is through technology.
Dara Minglin, a freshman radiography major, said using instant messaging and e-mail helps the situation, but not completely. Her boyfriend lives in Lafayette, and they have been in a long-distance relationship for two years, she said.
"It is a challenge, but it depends on how badly you want the relationship to work," Minglin said. "It is not easy, but we talk every day. I think it really opened doors for us. We mainly use the phone because hearing each other's voices makes it more personal, but in situations where the phone is dead, it does not help."
David Perkins, a professor in the Department of Psychological Science, said having to communicate on devices other than the phone can often times lead to misunderstandings. He said for some couples it might not be a problem, but when people make comments, sometimes it is hard to tell if someone is being sarcastic or is being serious.
"The modern technology is certainly an improvement from the old days," Perkins said. "All people could do is talk on the phone or write. There would be no connection and it would be difficult to communicate every day."
He said people in today's society can communicate daily, but they lose the other dimensions of a relationship such as hearing each other's voices and seeing each other face to face.
"Couples need to carve out time to communicate," Stachula said. "Technology makes it easier because you can talk better. People in those relationships still need to maintain the connection they once had even across distances. What is important is trying to make the relationship work."
Some students might use technology to communicate, but not as often.
Ken Moorhead, a freshman physics major, said he and his girlfriend, a junior at New Palestine High School, do not really use technology to communicate because they are both really busy and involved in a lot of things.
"I try to call a couple times a week but it is not really a big deal for us," Moorhead said. "We have had times before when we have been away from each other so we know how to be apart for a long amount of time."
Liz Drysdale, a freshman art major, said she used to have a long distance relationship, and for her it got easier over time to be apart from her boyfriend, but they do not always last. She said she thinks it is really difficult in the beginning because reality has not sunk in.
"We sent e-mails all the time, used Webcams and talked on the phone every night," Drysdale said. "I do not think long-distance relationships can last, though, because you have to be together physically."
When you do not have these electronic devices, it is harder, she said. And having the various types of technology we have today such as cell phones, instant messaging, e-mails and webcams does not do it all for you, she said.
Moorhead said that people who say long-distance relationships do not work are not always correct.
"When I left for college, and she stayed in high school, we decided we wanted to stay together and make an effort to see each other on the weekends," Moorhead said. "Two people have to be realistic about the expectations in their relationship and not dwell on the idea of them being apart."
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