It's 3:30 Saturday night ... er ... Sunday morning ... well, it's getting late and about that time to throw in the towel for the evening.
I know it's late because that infomercial is on, the one with the old guy hanging out in a Third World country trying to solicit children's lives and a picture of them to me for only 75 cents a day.
Although the old man makes me feel bad for not picking up the phone right then, I decide to head to bed and wait until tomorrow to sponsor little Tuntinuete.
I am awakened, however, by the screaming and shouting of Mr. and Mrs. Drunk Couple getting into a verbal beatdown, presumably over something stupid like who deleted the latest episode of "Passions" off the DVR.
This exchange continued, taking me back to a place I never want to return to: the dorms. Yes, those sound-polluted prisons where one only hopes to have peace and quiet for five minutes a day, where common decency in regard to noise is left at the card swipe door and isn't allowed to piggyback in.
Fact of the matter is, during my two years here, noise consideration has always been an issue - even after I moved out of the dorms.
So, here are some rules that everyone should live by when doing anything that might be loud, whether it's tuning up a guitar or popping in the latest abomination by Kenny Chesney.
Rule No. 1: No matter how good you might be at playing the guitar, people living above, below and on either side of you don't care.
Take it outside. It's loud, annoying and chances are, it sucks.
If there was ever a way to butcher the already crappy Dashboard Confessional, an ambitious strummer who is oblivious to how awful he sounds will find the way to do it.
Rule No. 2: When you have to move your furniture around, set up times when it is not only convenient but also polite to your neighbors. As I write this - around 2 a.m. - someone is moving furniture so much that it sounds like it would if Andre the Giant and Yokozuna decided to hold a body slam contest, using the apartment above mine as the ring.
Rule No. 3: Keep the bumping car stereo sound to a minimum in the early morning hours.
Rule No. 4: Leave the drunk and obnoxious loudness at the party. Yes, it's the weekend, but some people are trying to pass out in peace.
Don't be that girl who's so drunk and obnoxious she sounds like a congested Steve Urkel after sucking on a balloon.
Or don't be that guy who talks and laughs louder than Will Ferrell's character with the voice modulation problem.
Rule No. 5: When setting alarms, make sure that you plan on being around when they go off.
Freshman year, my neighbors had set their alarm for the bright and early time of 3 a.m., but they weren't in their room at that time. To top it off, it was on the loudest setting possible. Yeah, needless to say, my roommate and I weren't happy campers.
Rule No. 6: Remember the guitar rule? It also applies to pianos, drums, flutes, saxophones, xylophones, triangles and blowing on an empty bottle.
I'm not a cranky old man trapped in child's body, I swear.
Just please have some consideration next time you're planning to be insanely and obnoxiously loud; remember, you have neighbors.
Write to Ryan at jsmith@bsu.edu
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