Sex is risky, but so is life, a sex and relationship educator said Monday night in Cardinal Hall.
"Everything we do is risky," Marshall Miller, educator, said. "But people already learn ways to reduce the risks, like wearing seat belts when they ride in a car. The decisions you make about life can help you in the decisions you make about sex."
Miller and Dorian Solot, both sex and relationship educators from New York, have presented more than 150 programs nationwide. About 40 people attended Monday's presentation, which focused on the importance of educating people about safe sex.
The presentation kicked off Spring Week for Spectrum -- Ball State's gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and allied student organization. Zac Davis, Spectrum president, said Miller and Solot visited Ball State in Fall 2003, and bringing the bisexual couple back to campus was a good idea.
"We talked about making sure we had educational speakers that got people involved," Davis said. "They can feel questions from both the gay community and the straight community. "
During Monday's presentation, Miller and Solot gave paper bags to several students in the audience, one at a time. The students reached in and pulled out various safe sex supplies -- a male condom, female condom, lubricants, dental dams and plastic wrap, a cucumber, sex toys and finger cots.
Students discussed important advice on how best to use each sex supply. For example, a person who opens a condom package should use his fingers as opposed to using the mouth or a pair of scissors, which might damage the condom, Solot said. Students should also be aware of the condom's expiration date to ensure they are using ones that are most effective, she said.
Using lubricants with condoms is also important because lubricants can help prevent friction against the latex, which can cause the condom to break. Water-based lubricants should be used on latex condoms as opposed to oil-based lubricants, which can eat through the latex, Solot said. Plastic wrap as well as dental dams, pieces of latex originally used by dentists during dental procedures, can also provide useful protection during oral/vaginal or oral/anal sex, Solot said. In addition, finger cots, which look like mini condoms, can be effective barriers during hand or finger penetration of the vagina or anus.
For students, using sex toys or vegetables such as cucumbers can also be good to use alone or with a partner, though using condoms with cucumbers especially is pivotal to avoiding infection from pesticides, Solot said.
Using safe sex supplies is important not just during vaginal and anal sex, but also during oral sex, Miller said.
"Unprotected oral sex is safer than unprotected anal or vaginal sex, but there are some risks, such as contracting herpes and potentially HIV," Miller said.
Miller said educating students about safe sex overall is essential. While teaching abstinence is also important, teaching abstinence alone can be disadvantageous because it often implies that every person will wait until marriage to have sex, which is not true, Miller said.
"Abstinence is very effective," Miller said. "It's a good way of reducing if not eliminating your risks. But if it's the only thing you're trying to teach, there are some real problems."
Miller said some students plan to have safe sex but don't follow through with their plan for several reasons, including lack of communication with their partners, pressure from their partners to have sex, accidents such as the breaking of a condom and the biggest factor -- alcohol.
Being alert and aware of the challenges and risks associated with sex is key to addressing such issues, he said.
"We live in a world where condoms are available everywhere on campus, where many STDs like syphilis are curable , and where we know we have all the information we need to protect ourselves," Miller said. "Now it's just a question of using that information."
Freshman Amber Michel said she enjoyed Miller's and Solot's presentation and said one of the most important things she learned was the importance of being comfortable talking about safe sex.
Michel was pleased with how well Miller and Solot connected with the students Monday, she said.
"Their openness helps a lot because it makes students comfortable to ask the questions they want to ask," Michel said.
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