They're quilted. They have ugly patterns. They're taking over the world, one teacher at a time.
Female education majors and teachers everywhere seem to think Vera Bradley bags are a must-have. They range in size from coin purses to massive, diaper bag-sized totes and luggage. Some styles have their own human names, like "Amy" and "Little Betsy." You can even order matching placemats and napkins at VeraBradley.com. It's just gone too far.
I feel like these bags are closing in on me everywhere I look. At two different conventions I attended last semester for professional educational organizations, women surrounded me with Vera Bradley bags, suitcases and wallets. Sometimes I even had to brush against all the pink and orange quilted cotton on elevators. This new trend is the worst thing to happen to the field of education since No Child Left Behind.
The only thing worse than a hideous bag is an even more hideous copycat brand. During an innocent trip to Marsh for groceries, I turned a corner only to be attacked by a giant display of cheap knockoffs. They were ridiculous. The patterns were even worse than the real thing, and they weren't even quilted--only stitched to make it look that way. I decided these needed names, too. Like "Wannabe" and "Little Ugly."
The only plus side I can see to the authentic monstrosities is the durability the quilting provides. Teachers have the difficult job of finding the perfect bag to hold textbooks, papers and massive binders in a manner that promotes efficiency and easy carriage. Pre-service teachers appear busy most of the time, but do you really think we're spending all that time preparing our portfolios? Nope. We're just looking for a good bag. Looking around campus, it seems like several people have found that in Vera... but at what cost?
When I see Vera Bradley bags and other teaching-related fashions, I automatically associate them with middle-aged female teachers. I'll be in my own classroom at 22, and some say I could pass for 18 or younger. There's always a conflict when a teacher looks to close in age to his or her students, but I still don't see anything wrong with looking my age to a certain point... from the clothes I wear all the way down to the bag I carry.
Maybe I should just give in and accept the inevitable, but I'm not ready to accept a future that could include lugging my Vera Bradley suitcase on wheels through the airport (with matching Vera Bradley carryon and a Vera Bradley wallet, of course) wearing my Vera Bradley coat and hat and so tired that I can think of nothing greater than going home and having dinner with my Vera Bradley napkins and stretch out on my bed with its Vera Bradley comforter in my Vera Bradley nightgown. It's a brightly colored, quilted nightmare.
If you're planning to be a teacher, don't give up on yourself so early. The Teachers College does make us jump through plenty of hoops, but luckily it's not required to wear denim jumpers with apples and pencils on them or carry a $60 purse your grandma could have quilted.
I can't decide whether it's a fashion statement or just a status symbol, but I really don't understand why these revolting bags have to be associated with the career I chose. If you think Vera Bradley bags look fashionable, that's your call. I'd rather wear a fanny pack.
Write to Jenny at jlporter@bsu.edu
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