You know what they say: If you can't say something nice, wait for someone to bribe you with airline tickets.
At long last, Song, Delta's low-fare carrier, has boldly taken upon itself to make this old saying a reality. During the month of June, flight attendants will give away 5,000 free tickets to passengers for being nice.
Really.
As I understand it, each Song flight attendant will have four tickets to give away at his or her discretion. Noble, ticketworthy tasks include assisting flight attendants, helping other passengers and maintaining a positive attitude during a difficult situation.
Don't get me wrong. I am a very big advocate of the "Let's all just be nice to each other" movement. However, because I have seen the things America will do for a Klondike bar, I have some reservations about the promotion.
Let's put on our exploring caps and seek the possibilities. Suppose that Person A receives a ticket for switching seats with an elderly woman who is deathly afraid of the drink cart. Now suppose that Person B, who has seen the whole thing, does the same and does not receive a ticket. Now Person B is thinking, "Dash it all! I went out of my way to be nice and now I don't even have anything to show for it! Pffff. See if I be nice to anyone/fly this airline ever again!"
Meanwhile, Person A is the type of person who would have traded seats in the first place. He is worried that everyone else thinks that he performed a random act of kindness just to reap the benefits. He spends the rest of his flight questioning his motives, his morals, his values and then never uses his free ticket because he now associates airplanes with extreme anxiety and self-doubt.
Let us now put on our time-travel caps and go back to preschool, particularly the class periods that addressed the concept of "sharing." As a preschool student, you probably did not understand nor did you have any interest in participating in "sharing." The world was your Happy Meal, and no one but you was allowed to play with the toy.
However, with the proper motivation, you could be coaxed into sharing. It did not occur to you to share simply because it was the right thing to do. Song's promotion suggests that the only difference between preschool-aged children and adults, who are technically supposed to be righteous and mature, is that adults are taller and, in special cases, no longer pick their noses. That's right: The free tickets are the gold stars of corporate America.
As adults, we need to boldly take it upon ourselves to be nice whether we are on or off an airplane. We need to display compassion and willingness to help despite any reward we may receive. We need to truly possess the righteousness and maturity that this country needs in order to train our preschool-aged children to run it someday.
Just let me know if you want to switch seats. Make sure the flight attendant is watching.
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