I can think of two things that are incredibly difficult to accomplish. One is to do anything remotely productive on a Saturday night. The other is to find the perfect gift.
It could be that I take the entire process too seriously. (This is what I have been told). I embark on a shopping adventure, not knowing what lies ahead in the depths of the local mall, just keeping in mind that on my quest I must obtain the perfect gift and not get sidetracked by shiny objects.
I have Shopping Attention Deficit Disorder. It is a sick, twisted disease that drives me into a Bath and Body Works five times in one trip to the mall, usually exclaiming something along the lines of "Ooh, pretty things." Sometimes my shopping companion, usually my unwilling boyfriend, must hold me back.
So while in New York in March, I was determined to find something incredible for my younger brother. I looked in every store I could find. I first looked for a counterpart to the last vacation gift I gave him -- a Boxing Abe Lincoln, with full beard and double-fisted boxing action.
With no luck, I considered buying him novelty lighters, novelty socks, novelty boxers and novelty everything. Then I hit the jackpot -- a Ben Franklin action figure.
Not only did one of the Founders come with a kite and a key, the back of the package was covered in his quotations and accomplishments. This toy was cool and educational, perfect for an 18-year old high school senior.
Maybe something in my mind does not function properly but these gifts are amazing. They might be jokes, but they bring something to the table that no "I heart N.Y." T-shirt can. They remind us all of those that made our nation great, double-fisted boxing action included. My brother really liked them, and they became conversation starters when he proudly introduced Ben and Boxing Abe to his show choir friends.
Here's a quick shopping tip: People love action figures/boxing versions of their favorite leaders. If anyone sells boxing presidents, hook me up, because I want an entire American Presidents Boxing Federation, with Ben Franklin at the microphone, giving us the play by play. In between rounds, he can preach his 13 Virtues. We can all enjoy a little philosophy with a set of bookies over some chili dogs. The southern presidents can break off and form the Confederacy of Boxing Presidents. It will be like major league baseball, but better, because it will be presidents boxing.
The unfortunate part of all this is that I had to look high and low to find fun items pertaining to our nation's history. Most people would have settled for the novelty items, but with having a father who spent five days in Springfield, Ill., determined to find a Lincoln shot glass, I would never settle for a T-shirt.
I want something to help the receiver remember why it is possible to purchase items like this: These men, immortalized in plastic, made some step to preserve our freedoms.
This is why someone in this great nation has decided to market their action figures, their boxing versions and their shot glasses.
And if you are having trouble deciding which one to buy, just ask a show choir kid.
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