Melissa Shoaf is a freshman and writes 'Your Turn' with Elder Ben Goates.
What's the first thing that pops into your mind when somebody drops the word "Mormon?" Be honest. It's not the Osmonds, or two dudes in white shirts and ties riding bikes, or even that chick from MTV's "Real World" of so many years back. For some odd reason, in our overstimulated society nowadays, the first thought is usually, "they've got way too many wives, man." So what's the deal with that little piece of trivia, out of all things, being the thought on the forefront of so many liberal arts majors' minds, eh?
Case in point: Anybody catch the Tuesday episode of "Reality Bytes" on our own Channel 54? If so, you got a great glimpse into the life of a "typical" Mormon college girl from the Mormon Mecca of Provo, Utah, home of Bringham Young University. With quotes from the super-naive redhead ranging from "I've got 15 brothers and sisters," and "I don't smoke or drink or have caffeine," the average beer-swilling BSU student doesn't have to think too hard to realize that Mormons stand out in the regular party-oriented crowd. So what is to be said about this jumper-clad, Book of Mormon distributing, anti-party chick? Weird, I know. Well, that's when you compare her to modern society, which you have to admit, is not the same safe, "Leave it to Beaver" place we think it might be, or used to be in the past. Is she sheltered? Maybe. I'd want to be sheltered from campus murders, too. Right?
Now, I'm not trying to proselytize the entire campus of BSU and crusade for the Mormon faith one "Your Turn" at a time -- don't get me wrong. But after seeing the poor redhead on the live portion of the show sitting on stage alone, pregnant and watching her new hubby run his little British-accented game on another unsuspecting girl seated in the audience, (trying to recruit to his new harem, I suppose), and making the comment that it was OK because he can have more than one wife, I thought I'd set the record straight on the whole "multiple wives" deal. And here's the straight truth: In 1998, Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, "This Church has nothing whatsoever to do with those practicing polygamy ... those so involved (are) in direct violation of the civil law, and are in direct violation of the law of this Church." Does it have to be more plain and simple than that?
Did polygamy ever exist? Sure did. Why? Maybe you can ask the Illinois or Missouri state legislatures who recently released a statement of apology for issuing an Extermination Order against the Mormons in the 1800s. Yep, that means it was cool, and totally legal, to kill a Mormon. What happened to "freedom of religion?" I guess it just applied to everybody else at the time. Good thing times change, huh? I'm happy I don't have to fear some unsettled religionist capping me on the way to photography class. Sweet. But the Mormons at that time had to do something to save their dying (literally) community, and that meant allowing a man to have more than one wife (in a business agreement, almost, with the consent of the first wife) strictly for the means of saving their church society, their property and their civilization. But you can check the records and see that this practice was declared unlawful in the church in 1890, supported by a unanimous vote of all church members. In clearer terms, that means "just one wife, dude." And it's been that way ever since. Anybody continuing the practice is not affiliated with the Church, which is really named The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
So I hope that dispels the rumors. Being LDS and on campus myself, you probably wouldn't even know you were looking at a "Mormon" when you passed me in the hall. Actually the Church here in Muncie is pretty large. So FYI to all you girl-deprived, hormone-driven, freshman boys: even being a Mormon won't help you get the ladies.
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