Grace is a fixture in some sports, such as gymnastics, figure skating, golf and synchronized swimming. Violence is a fixture in some others: football, hockey, boxing and hurling, for example.
What if there was a sport that combined the grace and skill of a triple lutz with the blood-spilling action of a left hook?
Well, there isn't. And as much as I push for ice boxing to become an Olympic-sanctioned sport (They sanction chess. Why not ice boxing?), I don't see it happening soon.
One sport (also not sanctioned, but this one actually exists) that combines the grace of riding a unicycle with the pure Canadian violence of hockey is unicycle hockey.
And no, I'm not saying skating is not graceful, but a unicycle is more awkwardly requiring of grace. It's like ballet, only you're on a unicycle and you're trying to hit a ball in a goal, which means it's more like a bear in the circus, but still ...
Unicycle hockey is not as hard to explain as I can only assume it is to play. Unicycle hockey is played with an ice hockey stick hitting a tennis or street hockey ball into an ice hockey goal.
Usually played indoors, the game can be hazardous, as falling off a unicycle while playing unicycle hockey could be very painful.
Five players can be on the court for a team at any time and can play any position.
Some of the basic rules are pretty obvious. You may not put your stick under or inside the wheel of another player. If it happens accidentally, the tripped player gets a free shot at the goal. If the attack was intentional, the player who committed the foul must sit out for two minutes.
Unfortunately for bloodthirsty spectators, in international rules contact is strictly forbidden. After taking all the fun out of what could be an incredibly dangerous -- and therefore fun -- sport, they also ruled that the bottom half of the stick must remain below the knees.
This is not the only unicycle sport. Oh, no. Some other popular "unicycled" sports are basketball, jousting (yes, the thing they do in those medieval movies) and tag.
Write to Will at wjohargan@bsu.edu
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