As you grow older, you learn to appreciate the little things. Then again, there are some little things that no one will ever appreciate, like mosquitoes and sesame seeds.
While dining at an upscale, local food establishment of sorts, I noticed that my cheeseburger bun had no sesame seeds. As it is my nature to do so, I noticed out loud, thereby prompting my dining companion to respond with, "Well, I prefer buns with sesame seeds."
Excuse me... what? How can one possibly prefer or not prefer sesame seeds? Do they even serve a purpose other than to annoy the eater with a giant, seedy mess? If they have any function at all, it is to provide traction for people who toss their burgers randomly at their faces.
Clearly, I am a biased consumer. There are people in this world (Peggy Trowbridge) who think that the sesame seed is God's gift to food with actual flavor. Apparently, the sesame seed is the earliest recorded spice as well as one of the first plants to be used for edible oil. Who knew?
Who, indeed.
I learned, after another rigorous and intense Google search, that ancient Chinese philosophers spent a great deal of their time recording spices. This leads me to believe that other philosophers also care deeply about spices and the recording thereof, which puts an end to the age-old question: What do philosophy majors do all day long? Thank you. I look forward to receiving my Nobel Prize nomination.
Sesame seeds are not all fun 'n' games, I'm afraid. According to an important notice from the Canadian Food Inspection Company from July 12, 2003, a product called Nissin "Bowl Noodles" did not declare sesame seeds on its ingredients list, thereby endangering the lives of those who have sesame seed phobias/allergies.
Because I am a resourceful journalist dedicated to inform the public, without fail, of issues relating to sesame seed allergy, I visited a Web site made by The Anaphylaxis Campaign which says that:
1. Sesame seed allergy is common in Australia and Israel, and
2. Sesame is absolutely everywhere and will probably kill you.
For example, all oils are risky, as is all bread. You never know when contaminated sesame seeds might have hitchhiked across the border of quality control and onto your seemingly sesame-free bread. Also, sesame oil can be found in cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and pretty much anything you touch or think about.
This raises yet another question: Why don't restaurants specify on their menus whether or not the burger buns have sesame seeds? Granted, people need adventure and unpredictability in some form, but, mark my words, the presence of sesame seeds or lack thereof may be the difference between living and dying.
Again, I ask you why someone would prefer a bun with sesame seeds. Not only do they serve no culinary purpose, they can also wipe you out in the blink of an eye.
Well, I certainly hope that you will think twice before purchasing bread, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, burgers or anything else from now on. Question authority, not Canadian food inspection reports.
Thank you. Please send my Pulitzer Prize nomination with the Nobel.
Write to Aleshia at aahaselden@bsu.edu
Read More
Three Air Jam teams take home the win
October 12, 2012Nineteen teams shimmied, shook and flipped for a sold out John R. Emens Auditorium on Thursday night during the 25th annual Air Jam.
Bill Clinton Speaks at North Central High School
October 12, 2012Former President's Speech Could Have Effect on State Senate Race
