Stress: Just the word itself gives me a headache, and I've triedeverything to get rid of this headache -- aspirin, a hot bath,soothing music -- but it's still here.
I am hastily reminded of the physical effects of stress withevery television commercial that's louder than the show, every"squeak" from the floor as I pace uncontrollably, and every keythat I strike to type this column. At this time, yours truly isunder an immeasurable amount of stress, what with presentations andpapers to put together, finals to look forward to, a part-time job,and a dream of graduating. But then again, unless you're completelyunaware of your own surroundings, you are most likely under asimilar amount of pressure because of a similar list ofreasons.
Nothing, however, adds a sharper amount of stress to our dailylives than the romantic relationships that we have with oneanother. Sure, you'll always have your friends for support, but Ibelieve that it is the boyfriends and girlfriends of our collegecareers who have the greatest influence on our nervous system. Itis not mandatory that we be in a relationship in college, but we doit anyway, and there are clear disadvantages to this choice.
For starters, he or she soaks up way too much of your time.You're always doing things together or, if you are in differentlocations, then you're on the phone with him or her for at least 45minutes a night. You should be studying, and you know that -- butyou just don't care. You are in love and failing three of yourclasses because you have not been focusing.
Secondly, let's face it: There are emotional and financialinvestments involved with earnest attempts at romance, and youprobably don't want to lose all that. Because of this, you are veryunlikely to break things off after your first big fight, or evenyour 20th fight if you care enough about the relationship. Theexistence of a relationship alone can be distracting enough tocause tension.
And finally, some students may be stressed out by a lack of truecompanionship if they have experienced it before. The alternativeto commitment today is an increasing trend among American collegestudents who apparently aren't looking for love and instead arejust looking for a good time. Fewer of us are going out onold-fashioned dates, and a significant amount of college studentsseem to treat the quality of sexual intercourse with a new partnerin the same precommitment context as "color of eyes" or "sense ofhumor," leaving very little room for a legitimate connection. Notonly are there health and safety dangers, this kind of behavior isemotionally unfulfilling.
Add any romantic consequence to your school, work andextracurricular involvements, and you've got yourself a headache,my friend.
It's worth it, though, because there is one big advantage tobeing in a relationship: being happy. Nothing is more calming thanending a bad day in the company of a loved one, and there is nocomparison to any other stress-management technique. I have foundthat with companionship, for the most part, the one big positivealways outweighs the negatives.
So love may be stressful, but I say bring it on.
(Dedicated to Jessica.)
Write to Gregory at gttwiford@bsu.edu
http://www.twiff.com
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