Over the past few weeks, millions have tuned in to NBC to watch a man look someone in the eye and say the two most inspiring words in pop culture: "You're fired!" Apparently, nothing makes a person feel really powerful like crushing a bright young person's aspirations on network television. The man pulling the trigger, Donald Trump, apparently agrees.
Trump is now making a move to trademark the "You're fired!" phrase so he can have the legal marketing rights to it. He intends to splash the phrase on all sorts of items, such as T-shirts, coffee mugs and slot machines.
The success of Trump's reality show is being credited with putting the feathers back in the Peacock and restoring some luster to the once-vaunted Thursday-night lineup. With all this success, one would think Trump had found a new way to practically print money. But keeping with all reality television shows, there's a twist.
Susan Brenner says she has dibs on the fabulous phrase. Brenner operates a ceramics studio in Glenview, Ill., named "You're Fired!" Her store maintains a 5,000-member mailing list, spanning from Indiana to Wisconsin, and she argues that Trump's trademark will hurt her business.
Brenner wants the T-shirt rights for herself because she has sponsored Little League teams for years. She also wants Trump to refrain from marketing whatever products he's going to emblazon in Illinois, saying she got there first.
Remarkably, Brenner is one of four people who have attempted to trademark "You're Fired!" over the years. When one looks back over the history of trademarking, it's often the innocuous phrases that become the big ones. Washington lawyer Mack Webner notes that Ivory and Apple were mundane words until they became trademarks. Now, they're synonymous with soap and iPods.
Legal beagles are naturally perked up about this fight. Some of these battles can get nasty. Entrepreneur PR recently lost a five-year battle with Entrepreneur Magazine over the word "entrepreneur" worth $670,000 in damages. And who could forget the recent fight Victoria's Secret engaged in with a small store called Victor's Little Secret?
Somehow, the most mundane things in society become the ones most fought about. John Stoessel must be standing in the background queuing up his pet phrase "Give me a break!" One wonders if he is next in line at the trademark office.
Part of the amusement of this whole thing is that some people are taking this so seriously. Chief among them is Donald Trump, who has overreached on this one. But, as usual, at the heart of the whole thing is money. So, if Donald really wants to cash in on this one, he needs to make it a reality television show.
Call it "The Trademark." NBC can gather all the people who have filed for the rights to "You're fired!" and contest amongst themselves for the whole caboodle. One by one, they all get eliminated by a grouchy government clerk who kicks them out by saying, "You're rejected!" The Peacock will be strutting as the viewers tune in to see America's most revered businessman fight with the common folk. It could be the new David vs. Goliath.
Meanwhile, while they're filming and fighting it out, this writer will be in the background, trademarking his new verbal calling card: "You're kidding me!" The T-shirts are coming soon.
Write to Jeff at mannedarena@yahoo.com
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