Once again we return with "Sweet and Sour," maybe because it's easy (like a certain someone we know -- start pointing fingers now) or because we're addicted to VH1's "Best Week Ever." Just a little refresher: Sweet equals good, sour equals bad (although some of them are borderline tasteless).
Sweet: Dr. Drew is coming to Ball State on Monday to answer all those burning questions. With it being a couple weeks after Spring Break, all the nasty infections and itching, dripping, burning sensations should finally be showing up, so ask away.
Sour: You're going to find out you have chlamydia, but the handy, dandy Health Center is right around the corner to Lysol and scrub away your STDs.
Sweet: TeenKeira.com and its nameless blond, fit and tan bombshell. Yes, Kevin and Aaron are still gay and single, but we still can appreciate a hottie of the opposite gender. She has been quoted as saying to the Indiana Daily Student, "I don't feel it's porn. You can call it an adult site, but there's no intercourse or oral sex. There's not anyone else in the pictures with me. I'm not even fully nude."
Sour: TeenKeira.com's star doesn't go to Ball State. With Ball State's entrepreneurship program ranked in the top 20 by U.S. News and World Reports, she could learn a thing or two about e-commerce.
Sweet: Madonna is once again on tour. Aaron saw her the last time she was in Detroit and it was like seeing the "real Madonna"
- Jesus' mom.
Sour: The closest she will be coming is Chicago, and with a $300 price tag on decent tickets, these poor college students will be left singing songs off "The Immaculate Collection" in their residence hall rooms. But on the bright side, Britney will be making her way to our neck of the woods on June 30, with a little more reasonably priced ticket.
Sweet: Students are taking charge and responding to the "Police Yourself" campaign with T-shirts and trucker hats.
Sour: Come on people. Using the university's slogan on a trucker hat is not original. If you truly wanted to be creative, you would have put "Please Yourself" on the shirt and hat. Now that, kids, is funny.
Sweet: Bravo has announced a spinoff series titled, "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl," which is set to premiere in early 2005. Finally, all of our fag hags will be able to look as fabulous as us.
Sour: There are still some gay men out there -- we're talking about you, Bruce Vilanch -- that need some help. Before we can help others, we must help ourselves.
And finally, the winner of the Worst Week Ever award is SGA Vice President Olufunmbi Elemo. We know things are hard for you right now and you probably just want to get away from campus. So Butch and the Sundance Kid (Hey, that's us!) are offering to take you to dinner at one of Muncie's finest eateries, as determined by you, and we will foot the bill (seriously) ... on one condition: Bring Ben Tietz.
Write to Kevin and Aaron at twobsuguys@yahoo.com
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