21st-century life is easy. After a few clicks of a mouse, groceries, clothes and electronic media can arrive at your door. Simply, the Internet has created a culture of convenience. You can register to vote, read famous literature and even meet potential suitors without having to leave the house.
And now, thanks to Breakupservice.com, if one of those suitors becomes stale, possessive or just annoying, you can have someone else do the deed.
For anywhere from $25 to $75, Ren and Deanna Thompson, founders of the San Francisco-based service, will arrange to end your relationship. The happily married couple offers a variety of solutions: They write letters, make phone calls, provide counseling and will even visit your "not-so-special" someone to break the bad news. Ren and Deanna often use this excuse: "Why would you want to be with a guy who doesn't even have the nerve to break up with you himself?" Talk about convenience.
Since founding the service a year ago, the Thompsons estimate that, every month, 30 to 50 people request their help to let someone down. Ren has found that both parties are usually thankful for the interference. He said, "The thing they want to avoid most is each other. Having someone come in to tie up the loose ends relieves them from having to deal with each other."
That's true. Sometimes ruined couples want nothing more than to never see one another. The service would be especially useful if the relationship in question is violent or abusive (but the Thompsons generally try to avoid assisting in such a breakup). Although the couple sees the service as an innocent business venture, it's also cutting one of the last threads of accountability in this culture. Really. It's not easy to break up; but, it shouldn't be, because it's not easy to date.
Ostensibly, we enter into relationships because we want to learn what we are and what we like. But inevitably, we all will be with someone with whom we are incompatible. She might talk too much or demand our attention. Or we might dislike the way she chews, for example. When enough becomes enough, we must break up. This is executing a confrontation and expressing what it is that we want, simple life skills Breakupservice.com undermines.
At the same time, we have to understand that being in a relationship also requires compromise and growth. According to Paul Mauchline at artofloving.com, "Love will reach a stage where you will begin to notice your partner's shortcomings. Relationships end for many at this point because the fantasy has been shattered." Simply, when we realize our partners aren't perfect, we might withdraw, develop bitterness or even bail. But Mauchline wrote, "Should you choose to be angry, or if you choose to repress your feelings or to run, you are missing the opportunity to rise to the next level of intimacy." Basically, we don't always give the relationship a chance to become something worthwhile.
In the end, whether out of fear or annoyance, it's easy to give up on a relationship. Breakupservice.com makes it even easier. But it shouldn't be. The service is a nice little option, but any self-respecting adult should be of the stuff to move beyond such junior-high tactics and slip the note in the locker themselves.
Write to Allyn aswest@bsu.edu
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