The phone call came last week. It came from a roommate. He saidonly this: "K.B. Toys is closing down. Everything is 30 percentoff. Get here now."
Click.
A few hours later, I was a proud owner of "Soul Calibur 2" formy delightful, little Xbox, which takes up half of a wall.
The recent months have not been kind to me. I have feltlifeless, empty and in need of spiritual guidance. Thankfully,through the brilliant writing to be found in "Soul Calibur 2," Ihave now begun my search for Truth.
You see, in "Soul Calibur 2," the fighters face a gruesome testto search for the Ultimate Sword. Fate conspires to arrange theirbattles while, blessed by the Almighty Ones, they unleash theirFury. Then, the two Souls are fiercely entangled.
I don't know about you, but my mind is blown.
Two-player fighting games have been a staple of geeks since 1991when the world was met with "Street Fighter II." Ever since then,those of us too weak for "sport" have been able to further our egosby thrashing the electronic avatars of our rivals using joystickand button combinations. A player was not merely playing to earnanother match on his 50 cents, he was playing for pride. When youwin, you are better than the person who lost. Definitively.
Multi-player fighting continued in the traditions of "KillerInstinct" and "Mortal Kombat," but these matches eventually seemedfutile. Sure, Sub-Zero removes Kano's head and spine from the restof his body... but Kano is alive, good and well the very nextround! You aren't actually accomplishing anything. How existentialis that?
But "Soul Calibur 2" accomplishes something. It teaches "truth."All my life I've wanted to do nothing but good; I've wanted to be ahero. I've tried Nietzsche, Jesus and Dr. Phil. But, as Yoshimitsusays, "a raging fire becomes dying embers." As it turns out, "SoulCalibur 2" has held the answers to life, the universe andeverything all along.
"A hero desires a sword and a sword desires truth!" So says"Soul Calibur 2"!
I desire to be a hero, which means I desire to be somethingwhich desires another thing that desires truth. Put that blade intoyour hilt and swing it. If I meditate on that thought long enough,I start to see pretty colors.
I do not understand why video games are still frowned upon bymainstream society when games such as "Soul Calibur 2" areoverflowing with near-infinite nuggets of crystal-clearphilosophical wisdom. Just the other day, a roommate (the very onewho alerted me to the toy sale) staged an intervention with me. Hetaped a news report on the addictive nature of video games anddecided it was best to share it with me.
Oh, mortal fools! They know not the nirvana granted byinteractive electronic gaming entertainment. Enlightenment is notattained by rejecting our desires, but by desiring to crush yourfriends and foes with slick air combos.
I shall become a devoted practitioner of "Soul Calibur 2." Irenounce my family, my religion and my worldly possessions.(Television and Xbox, with accessories, excluded.) From now on, Idesire but one thing: a sword which desires truth.
But a real life couldn't hurt, could it?
Write to Ben at bbmcshane@bsu.edu
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