Somewhere on my relentless quest to someday repay my student loans, I vaguely recall learning that a person makes more than a million decisions during a typical day.
I am confident that 10 of these decisions, at best, are important. I would say that my top three most important decisions every day are to breathe, blink and use my turn signal. Everything pretty much falls into place from there.
There will soon come a day in which you and I will wake up and, before we decide whether we have time to brush our teeth because we decided to hit the snooze alarm 14 consecutive times, will be confronted with yet another decision: whether to join the IGeneration.
I know what you're thinking. Of course I'd have time to brush my teeth. I have never once in my life tried to mask morning breath with Eclipse gum. Also, clean socks are number one on my priority list, and I will always find time to do laundry even if it means canceling tea with the Queen.
I reply by saying that you are a miserable liar. But there is help on the way.
On July 16, the world's first fully automated domestic assistant, the NS-5, will be released. According to www.irobotnow.com, the NS-5 is modeled after the average male. It is capable of lifting up to 800 pounds, speaking up to 80 languages and doing your taxes.
The purpose? To give us, the dirty sock-wearing population, more freedom in today's busy world of chaos and Eclipse-gum consumption.
As marvelous as it would be to shirk my responsibilities and leave them willy-nilly for an android, I would like to briefly discuss how attached people are becoming to their gadgets.
People are obsessed with their gadgets. More people would rather lose a finger than lose their computer, and I imagine there are some who would rather lose an arm than lose their cellular phone. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to make people trade in an arm when they purchase a cell phone for driving purposes except that people would probably steer their vehicles with their foreheads. Their knees would be occupied with holding the newspaper.
In half a year the NS-5, a technological asset comparable to a car in the amount of convenience provided, will be at our quivering fingertips. I am wary of the NS-5, though, because according to its manufacturers, it will not be just another household appliance; it will be a member of the family. This will surely raise issues of necessity. Most American families already have a member who does everything: Mom.
Certainly, ethical issues are sure to arise from widespread ownership of the NS-5.
I don't know about you, but I would rest much easier knowing that my chores were in the able hands of my blender, which is not in any way affiliated with my family. The fine line between humans and their gadgets is becoming dental floss-thin. Before we know it, our children will be bringing home androids and announcing their engagements while we angrily mumble about the good old days when people still wore dirty socks.
I have now decided to have tea with the Queen. Leave any messages with my blender.
Write to Aleshia at aahaselden@bsu.edu
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