Editor's Note: This is part four of a five column series dealing with dating and relationships.
The situation was like an attractive woman flirting with you at a party. Interest grabbed, you take her back to the dorm and pop in some make-out movie like "Dirty Dancing." Then, when you grab the condom, she says, "Oh, by the way, I'm a prostitute. If you want to continue then it'll be $4.99."
Yes, I'm talking about the often-shady world of Internet college personals.
Usually spam e-mails get an immediate, unsympathetic pimp-slap delete. When I received an e-mail from an online dating service, though, I thought "why not?"
So I filled out my profile and set about browsing through single Ball State females. I was shocked at just how many there were.
It's a common misconception that with girls, the majority is either already in a relationship or not interested in being in one. Well, the unhappy singles are definitely out there. But it's not always easy to find them. Cue the internet.
I made a nice long list and proceeded to send "ice breakers" (pre-written messages indicating you're interested) to see if any might reply after viewing my profile and picture. Many did. I was thrilled... until I went to make personalized contact. Then the flirtatious website morphed into the whore of Babylon: once you found someone who was interested in going on a date with you, you had to pay the subscription rate of $4.99.
Now, I'm not a cheap person by any means. I'm just not interested in prostitutes -- especially deceptive ones. I wouldn't pay if it was a quarter. Had the site, (which, you'll note, I'm not naming -- they're not getting any free advertising from me), been up front about the way they did business, I'd have no issues.
When I e-mailed the site's owner about my concerns, he reminded me that their e-mail was accurate -- it was free to join. A true statement can still be a lie, though. Whenever you lead people to think something that's not true, that's a lie. When you purposely withhold truth -- especially in order to get something from someone -- that's a lie.
And as you might know, I can't stand liars. I want to crack my pimp cane over their skulls.
He pointed out in his e-mail that when you see an ad on TV for a product or service, they don't tell you it costs money, you should be smart enough to assume. Well, the Internet is a very different business medium. Our generation has grown accustomed to hordes of free content on the internet supported by advertisements. There are sites providing free e-mail, chat services, instant messaging, programs, news, and, of course, the Internet's primary crop, pornography.
Example of a non-prostitute site: www.collegepersonalsonline.com. It's possible to actually contact people for free there. There aren't that many Ball State people on there now, but hopefully the word can get out and more will flock to it.
I can't stress enough: the whole internet personals thing should be a secondary means for dating. Too many opportunities abound on this campus to meet new people. If you're lonely, don't sit at the computer like a pathetic john, get out there and do something. Do it now! Put the paper down, and start flirting with the person sitting next to you. That's an order from your pimp!
Write to David at swimminginbrokenglass@yahoo.com
http://www.bsu.edu/web/dmswindle