I love Halloween.
Call me pagan, demonic, or just plain evil, but I used to lovedressing up in cheap, plastic costumes and pestering the neighborsfor free candy.
Of course, I've stopped all that now.
I've also stopped toilet-papering their trees, egging theirhouses and leaving flaming brown bags (key word: "brown") on theirdoorsteps.
(I'm not reformed. We just moved.)�������
These days, the lore of Halloween fascinates me -- so much sothat this year, I even did research. (I have no life. I sit at homeon weekends and do this.)
I spent roughly 6 hours doing Web research about the history ofHalloween, and I came away with a clear opinion:
People are stupid.
Religious fundamentalists make links between Halloween and pagancelebrations, and they even make links to devil-worship, cultactivity and ritual killings.
Even candy tampering, the most widespread fear on Halloween, isblamed on those darned pagans, corrupting our already corruptJudeo-Christiansociety.�������
Historians refute the allegations with research involvingCatholicism, Celtic culture, Spanish conquerors and word origins,much of which weakly connects.
However, considering national crime statistics since 1958, onlytwo children have died because of "candy tampering" -- at the handsof their non-pagan parents.
But despite the historians' facts, religious fundamentalistshave more pull with the majority of Americans, who don't listen tohistorians anyway. (Fear beats fact every time.)
Thus, Halloween is associated with pagan gods and fictionalmonsters -- even though the real monster is misconception.
Truthfully, neither side gets the point, and children miss outon a legitimate social activity.
Basic networking skills: Halloween is a time when peopleactually talk to neighbors (if only from the sidewalk). If youbefriend others, they are less likely to vandalize your home.
Basic forward thinking: Children like to dress up and makebelieve. Letting them do so allows their imaginations to grow, andthat creativity will benefit them later. Also, if you let them playwith others, they will develop valuable skills, and one day theywill move out of your house.
Basic observation: Children wear costumes to participate in asafe activity. If your child is showing no signs whatsoever of aninclination toward religions you deem deviant (read: different),your child is probably fine. Few children say, "I'm going to be apagan when I grow up."
Basic logic: Children don't have to dress up as monsters. Ifmonsters scare you or your children, remember that these creaturesare fictional, and then dress up as something else. Running andhiding makes no sense. Other costumes exist, ranging from cartooncharacters to celebrities to abstract ideas. (Hint: Try dressing upas "patchy dense fog.")
Basic capitalism: Children like candy. Candy can be expensive.On Halloween, your neighborhood might become one giant melee offree candy for the taking, like manna from the sky, even. You cansave money. (Hint: Keep with the American way and take more thanyour share.)
Basic common sense: Children don't sacrifice anything onHalloween - especially valuable candy-raiding time in favor of somebizarre ritual. Children are weird, but they don't turn down freecandy.
So, instead of focusing on misconceptions, let's focus onHalloween's positives, including fun, free candy and the fact thatI don't live near you.
What flaming brown bag? That wasn't me.
Really.
Write to John at kingseyeland@bsu.edu
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