DESIDERATA: COMMENTS FROM AN OLD HIPPIE: Facing death leads to rededication to changing our world

On Sept. 22, something happened that should have changed mylife. I had a heart attack. The awful pain in my chest forced me toaccept a simple fact: I might not live forever.

I began to wonder if this old hippie was going to have one last"out-of-body experience." I might soon have to accept a new type ofexistence outside the mortal one that I have often taken forgranted. To accept an existence without my wife or children, whooften annoy me but whom I need and love, seemed inconceivable tome.

As I thought about all this, I remembered a line from myfavorite poem: "Be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him tobe."

But I was not at peace. I was mad as hell.

The doctors told me about all the changes I must now make if Iwanted to live and not hasten my death, but during their speech, Ithought about the $200 billion being spent to cause more hate, moreviolence and more death. The money could have been spent to improveeducation, health care and simple human understanding. What bothersme is that it is the same hate, violence and death that I haveoften had to witness caused for the same reasons, and now it is mychildren, and very soon my grandchildren, who must also witnessit.

I thought about the lack of common sense we show when dealingwith questions like abortion, civil rights, and the separation ofchurch and state. I wondered why we allowed Ball Stateadministrators to cut programs to save money without demanding theycontrol the rising cost of education. I wondered why we keepletting them increase the cost for students. Soon, only a few willbe able to afford an education.

I had to ask myself why a paper like the DAILY NEWS does notreflect the total community it reports on. Why is it normally onlyread by some students and almost no staff or teachers?

What can we do to change our environment so it will both nurtureand protect each of us?

I knew I was not ready to give up a life that I had built such alove/hate relationship with. I still have windmills to joust. Istill must tell my grandchildren and anyone else who will listenabout the quest of Quixote, King and Kennedy and theirsimple-minded obsession: the belief that one's actions shouldalways be governed by honor and the concept that, "I am mybrother's keeper."

We need to honor their lives by following their decisions todefend the helpless, even when you know your words and actionscould cost you everything.

"Be a quiet old man and most of all, stop wasting your timejousting with windmills and searching for the truth because nobodycares if you want to live another day," they said.

Never!

Sancho! My sword! My lance! Ready my faithful steed Rocinante,for we have windmills to fight and truths to defend! If, myfriends, the Knight of the White Moon does come for me, so be it.He will find me with sword in hand and a smile on my face.

Write to Eric at eerichardson@bsu.edu

 


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