En route to class I weave between buildings wall-papered with anti-war and "No blood for oil" posters.
I'm studying abroad at a German university, but no textbook could have prepared me for the intimacy of living in a country with anti-war sentiments as strong as Germany's.
Germany is six hours ahead of "Muncie time," so on the day of the U.S.-led invasion into Baghdad, I awoke to buzzing reports of the attack. Nearly every announcer condemns this war. The distance between European and American opinions are as far as the two continents on a globe.
Last week a war protest in Muenster inflamed the anger. I love America. Just because I'm romanced by Germany doesn't mean I could ever forsake my homeland. Maybe that explains the helplessness in watching people tout "Drop Bush not bombs" banners. I don't like Bush. I think he's an embarrassment to our land. But it stabs at some intrinsic pride within me when I note that other people feel that way, too.
I wanted to scream, "Hey, I'm an American -- I can dislike him because he's my president." But I resisted, because I disagree with war just as much as they do.
Of course, we're supposed to support our government, lest we be hailed as "hippie protesters" or "traitors." For a society as advanced as ours, how can we intelligibly reason that launching missiles over cities is the best solution?
Disappointment seems to be the sentiment with most people here, regardless of nationality. From my perspective across the ocean, I've noticed that media coverage of the crisis is strikingly different. Where European newspapers focus on finding a diplomatic resolution or picture fleeing civilians on the front page, American media detail the whiz of missiles and readiness of our troops to strike.
Peace isn't an option. We knew there would be a war, even while the rest of the world kept its fingers crossed.
"We ought to just go bomb 'em all," a relative told me over the phone. "Each and every one of them."
"Killing everybody wouldn't make us any better than Saddam, would it?" I replied. "If he's gassing his own people anyway, then we'd just be helping him along by dropping our bombs."
Rather than focused hatred toward Saddam, my German counterparts fear the unilateral stance the United States has taken. The strongest country isn't always the right one, they argue. Instead, it should set a good example.
Why should it be okay for the United States to shrug the United Nations when it is in fact a federation based on compromise and diplomacy? Maybe our credibility would've been strengthened had we attempted a resolution rather than renaming our-áFrench fries.
Sometimes people target me. "They're sending our troops to fight your stupid war," an acquaintance said to me. How am I supposed to reply? It's not my war. I didn't vote for Bush, but no words or reasoning will convince anyone otherwise.
Then again, what if Saddam really does have weapons of mass destruction? He has already used the forbidden Scud missiles that he "didn't have." Germany's history reveals what happens when we turn our eyes away from a ruthless dictator.
My ties to the war run deeper. My 18-year-old brother waits for the call to grab his gear and head for his airbase. He's a member of Air National Guard, and has had his bags packed for a month. I'm comforted by the fact that he believes in what he's fighting for -- freedom for the Iraqi people.
I don't have the heart to tell him that it could all be propaganda.
I won't be tearing down any anti-war posters, and of course the graffiti will fade. Sometimes there's even a bit of wit behind the paint. The latest forced a meager smile: "There's something scary in the Bush."
For now I'm dreading my brother's farewell and attempting to spread some understanding about us "war-hungry" Americans.
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