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| Kevin Cobb is a junior journalism major and writes 'Cobb, Party of One' for the Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. |
Michael Jackson needs a friend.
You know, someone to hang out with on the Neverland Ranch, go out to eat with and just chill. When I say 'friend' I'm specifically meaning a human (not Bubbles, his monkey), preferably over the age of 12.
Jackson needs a friend to whom he can relate -- one that has gone through facial changes, has had sexual charges brought against him, and peaked early in his career.
Jackson needs Mike Tyson. It's a perfect match, second only to peanut butter and jelly sandwich, just nuttier.
One wonders why the two aren't friends already. Let's take a look at Tyson.
A week before his Showtime bout against Clifford Etienne, Tyson got a major tribal tattoo placed around his left eye. While the tattoo gives him an intense look, it's also a risk for infection.
Infections are something Jackson knows all too well about. A little over three months ago, while testifying in a courtroom, America saw the first glimpses of Jackson's nose. Or, at least, what was left of it. A week later Jackson headed to Berlin to accept an award.
While there, Jackson dangled his son Prince Michael II over his fourth floor hotel balcony, thus pointing the cameras to his parenting skills and leaving his facial structure alone.
Apparently, Jackson has such superb parenting skills he feels the need to help out other parents by offering his bed to their children. In his recent highly publicized interview with Martin Bashir, Jackson openly admitted to recently having children stay with him in his bedroom. While as innocent as Jackson attempted to make the children's sleepovers sound, accusations of 1993 child molestation kept creeping back into the picture.
While on the topic of sexual conduct, Tyson can relate to Jackson. A year before Jackson's child molestation charges were brought up, Tyson was convicted of rape and served three years of a 10-year sentence.
One last common trait the two share are their fleeting careers.
At age 20, Tyson became the youngest heavyweight champion in history. After his jail time, he never did fully recover to his prime. The once highly regarded boxer now has to resort to following the line-up of ex-ice skater Tonya Harding, who made her debut last week before the Tyson/Etienne bout. That was after the Jay-Z concert, mind you.
Jackson's last album, 'Invincible' should have been called 'Invisible' because that's exactly how it was on the charts. He went public, blamed Sony for his poor record sales, and ended up looking even more foolish. Basically, Jackson is 'HIStory' and he just needs to 'Beat it.'
Final Thought: With their new budding friendship, a possible career move for both Jackson and Tyson could change the way Americans perceive them. They could star in a few 10-10-220 commercials. Hey, it worked for Alf.
Write to Kevin at twobsuguys@yahoo.com
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