To know one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What would our campus be like if everyone gave three compliments a day or if student organizations shared the secrets of their success? I am talking about the unselfish, sincere and universally admired words that put contagious smiles on faces and better our campus.
These things can be true if we live and learn a fundamental rule of life that we gain as we give. Everyone learns this rule - some sooner, some happily and willingly, and some reluctantly and with difficulty.
There are several fundamentals to success - making bold decisions, breaking through failure and a desire to commit. Nonetheless, you can put boldness, persistence, commitment and even money to work for you and not end up successful if you don't make people around you feel good about themselves.
Abraham Lincoln once began a letter by saying, "Everybody likes a compliment." He is right. We all want to feel likable, important and good about the things we do. Nothing feels better than meeting someone who remembers our name or recognizes our importance, accomplishments and good qualities. If you give compliments, they will return. Think about the people you respect and admire - do they respect and admire you?
William James said, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." He didn't speak of the "wish" or the "desire." He mentioned the "craving" to be appreciated.
It is this craving for a feeling of importance that inspired Dickens to write his novels. This craving caused George Washington to want to be called, "His Mightiness, the President of the United States," Even some of the most famous people in history want to feel respected and important. Let them know when they do a good job. They deserve it. You never know, if you give you may receive.
Many people believe that if you give away good advice, you give away a secrete recipe and lose your importance. We see this between individuals and dramatically through the intense competition in the greek community.
You can give away all of the good advice you have and still not have given away your competitive edge because it is unique to you or your organization. It is your unique blend of personality, talent and experience. You can give away your most confidential rush plan, your membership development success, as well as the T-shirt ideas that seem to make an event possible and never suffer because no one can implement it in your perfected way. Just as thousands of young girls now dress and act like Britney Spears, no matter how hard they try, unfortunately there will only be one Britney.
This unselfish communication betters the greek community, the residence halls and eventually every student at Ball State because we all are a part of an interconnected ecosystem.
We all have a role to play, and if one fails it affects another and a chain reaction begins impacting thousands of people. Events that happen in the residence halls, such as the premium plan, affect the fraternity system. If a fraternity fails because of the plan, it impacts all of those in the greek community. In return, those in the residence halls who may not take advantage of being greek because of the notion of instability may join another organization and so on.
If each extends a helping hand, is tolerant and acts unselfishly, our campus ecosystem will survive.
There is no shortage when it comes to smart advice, genuine compliments or good, old-fashioned, loving actions - so use them to make other people feel good about themselves. Nothing will make you feel better on the inside, and nothing will bring you more true admiration.
Write to Tommy at tbrector@bsu.edu
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