COLUMN: Fit into the croud, don't take a stand

Let's all be inquisitive. Let's all be political. Let's all care.

Stare at a couple across the street. If not stare, then glare, because you're probably fuming about relationships and every relationship should burn and crumble; everyone else has one but you.

Let's make everyone the focus of our problems. We need to choose sides. The world's coming to an end. Find another religion, because the religion you believe isn't good enough.

Let's all point fingers. Let's blame everyone else for our problems. Let's find the answer to a problem without blame. Let's talk, discuss, listen and respond -- responsively, even if it's something out of our comfort zone.

Exercise every morning. If not exercise, then flap your lips, because it's not like people don't complain enough. We should all be equal. We love civil rights. Don't eat animals, and go ahead and try being vegan while living in the dorms. If you hate exercise, than you'll lose weight because of a poor diet. Eat a vegetable only if it's dead or if it has fallen off the tree and far away enough from tree. If the apple nods it's head, it's OK to eat it.

Maybe I'm a false prophet. Maybe I'm a real prophet. Maybe I'm just a bad writer. Maybe.

I wish I could say more, but I'm slowly becoming more educated about politics before I can start a debate. I hate debating. Everyone thinks they are right, so why debate? It's not debate, its an argument against stubborn ears. I've always wanted to start a rumor or scream "bomb" while in the movie theater just to see what kind of reaction I would get. People will definitely hear those words.

Let's watch TV. Let's watch "Jeopardy." Let's smile. Let's take a few deep breaths a day. Let's enjoy a day where everything just glides off our backs.

Sometimes I get sick of journalism because it's too much talk, too much politics. I think that's because of CNN. I gave up my dream of being a reporter because it's underpaid, underread and no one respects you. Why should I give up my free time and hard work to a paper that will hire me, only to find my talents being wasted on -- my favorite -- obituaries.

Let's all wear black. Let's listen to morbid music. Let's be angry over things in our subconscious. Let's forever hold on to our past and never let go so we become bitter and decrepit in soul and personality. I'm an artist. You're an artist. But what's art?

Anything about anything is opinion. Religion is opinion. Writing is opinion. Teaching is opinion. The movie reviews are opinion. I'm an opinion. You're an opinion. Some people think they have something to say, and they don't. Others have too much to say and they hold it all in. Sometimes we have to sit back and listen to those who just talk too much.

What's the meaning of life? Look at our lives, are they really down the paths we want? Are we living for the right reasons, or have we all fallen victim to switching schools because of a significant other, working on a major because that's what our parents want or being influenced by outside sources other than our own brains? Is that the meaning of life? Why is it so scary to take stand? The worst that can happen is that someone might hear us and -- gasp -- agree. God knows we hold it all in because of the one person that will disagree.

Once one question is answered, we find another to ask. We'll never be satisfied. Everything is a mystery, and we find comfort in Miss Cleo and her tarot cards. Everything is satanic. Learn how to say "no." Let's all run rampant, shall we? Let's break rules. Let's laugh. Let's scream. There's more to life than this, isn't there?

Let's all be inquisitive. Let's all be political. Let's all care.

Write to Evan emann@mr-potatohead.com


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