by Tanner Kinney At the tail end of 2019, critically-acclaimed film studio A24 released their last film of year with Uncut Gems, an insane piece of entertainment that follows Adam Sandler as Howard Ratner, a diamond dealer and big-time gambler that gets into some real sorts of messes. It was a shocking move and something that critics and audiences weren’t entirely sure about, but a lot of people came out loving. If you’re curious in reading more about this film, check out our review here. Uncut Gems ended up becoming a bit of an Oscar contender in a few categories, particularly that for Lead Actor. In a year where many people considered Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal of the Joker in Joker to be the big front-runner, Adam Sandler was going to potentially be his toughest opponent. And, for the record, Sandler deserves the recognition for his quality work. Sandler was ready to pull out all the stops, and he wasn’t afraid to make threats. While promoting Uncut Gems on the The Howard Stern Show, Sandler said he’d be “there to win.” Additionally, he said if he didn’t win, he’d “come back and do one again that is so bad on purpose just to make you all pay.” Which, from the mind behind legendary dumpster fire Jack and Jill and my absolute favorite piece of cinema in “Dunkaccino,” is the greatest threat to modern cinema. So, now that the Oscars are over and done with, Sandler’s Uncut Gems didn’t just not get nominated for Best Picture, it didn’t get nominated for anything. The film got, as they say, “snubbed”. Which means we are in the timeline where Sandler is going to craft the worst Adam Sandler film possible. If he’s reading this right now, I’m going to offer some of the greatest terrible Adam Sandler film ideas I can come up with. All I ask is a little bit of credit as a treat, and some royalty checks. It’s a fair exchange for these high quality films, trust me.
I’m Not Your Buddy, Cop!
A Ballad for AmericaJeremy Renner
The West of West VirginiaFallout 76
Board StiffOujia Candy Land Endgame Clue Dungeons and Dragons D&D The Game of Life
Three’s a Crowd: A Madea StoryMadea Jack and Jill Norbit Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Alive 2025Five Nights at Freddy’s
Happy Madison’s InfernoDante’s Inferno— Billy Madison Happy Gilmore The Cobbler Eight Crazy Nights, Click Jack and Jill Happy Madison’s Inferno
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