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Were you honestly expecting ‘Slender Man’ to be any good? If so, why?

by Emily Reuben I guess it’s 2009 and I’m back in middle school, because Slender Man is a thing again… kind of. Remember Marble Hornets? Yeah, they were pretty cool. I watched each upload religiously and blabbered to my friends about Slender Man during each lunch period because, yes, we were the weird kids. What about that Slender game? It was basically Five Nights at Freddy’s in terms of popularity and spooky factor. That was always fun to make an unsuspecting, skittish friend play at night. Man, wasn’t Slender Man the coolest guys? We should totally bring that myth back. Oh, but not through witty Creepypastas or some cool online video made by actual fans. No, no, Hollywood will get it right…right? Who asked for this movie? Considering that Slender Man’s popularity has largely passed and many kids probably don’t know who he is, who was this made for? Old fans? New fans? Are the kids these days still talking about Slender Man? Were there mobs in the street demanding a new Slender Man movie? The last time I saw the myth in the mainstream was in 2014 after two 12 year old girls randomly stabbed their friend as a “sacrifice to Slender Man”.  Now, anything I see about Slender Man usually relates to that case, or the documentary made about it, Beware the Slender Man, which by the way, is a much better movie and one you should definitely watch. My point is that the time to capitalize on this faceless fiend has long since passed.

How to make a supernatural stalker boring

Image from IMDb
The Ring The Ring Rings

I wanted Slender Man to kill these people so I could leave the theater

Image from IMDb
Image from IMDb

I guess Slender Man is a demon now

Image from IMDb
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