by Tanner Kinney Oh boy oh boy, it’s time for another Star Wars movie release! It’s kind of shocking to actually say that. Even though now it looks like we’ll be getting Star Wars movies from now until the end of human existence, just not even five years ago it seemed the franchise had become dormant from a cinematic perspective. George Lucas managed to drive his beloved franchise so far into the ground that no one wanted to see any more new movies that might make things worse, if that was even possible. Despite that, novels and games covering the amazing mess of the expanded universe tended to do pretty well. Disney’s Star Wars, unfortunately, seems to have abandoned all the cool planets, alien races, story concepts, and legitimately great world-building to stick with things that are well-known (aka more easily marketable), which is a shame. Star Wars from just the world created by the original trilogy is a little creatively bankrupt, especially if you have to keep forcing in Star Wars things because they are Star Wars in an effort to make people like your film (looking at you, Rogue One). Not to worry though! I, being an expert in bad fanfiction, know exactly what Star Wars movies Disney can make that the people will definitely love and are not japes. And don’t worry Disney, you don’t need to pay me for these ideas. It’ll be our little secret that only we know about. We can do a little wink at each other when we pass in the supermarket, it’ll be great.
Wicket’s Bad Fur Day
Return of the Jedi
Conker’s Bad Fur Day.
Deadpool
Sausage Party.
Sausage Party.
The Fault in Our Star Destroyers
Star Wars
The Force Awakens
The Force Awakens
The Adventures of Jar Jarberry Finn
Huckleberry Finn
Lumpyhood
Star Wars Christmas Special.
Star Wars,
