When students leave their hometowns to come to college each year, it can often mean leaving their romantic relationship behind.
But others may chose to stay together, making long-distance relationships somewhat common, especially on college campuses.
About 25 to 50 percent of college students are in long-distance relationships, according to the book “Maintaining Long-Distance and Cross-Residential Relationships.”
Abbey Beville, a sophomore psychology major, is 600 miles away from her fiancé.
Beville and Nick Dupeire met in a 10th grade English class and were best friends who started dating their senior year.
They had been dating for nearly 10 months when they both left for separate colleges.
“It’s college — she wants to do one thing and I have to do another thing,” said Dupeire, who attends the State University of New York. “We both have to be in the right places for what our degrees are and what we want to do when we get out.”
After talking about their relationship, Beville and Dupeire agreed staying together was worth it.
“I think it was a matter of how long we were together, because if we had only been together for a couple of months, I think both of us would have broken it off,” Beville said. “I was head over heels for that kid.”
The most challenging part for Beville is seeing other couples around campus.
“I think the hardest part would just be knowing every morning when I wake up, I’ll never see him,” she said. “There’s no, ‘Maybe I will run into him today.’ I will never be that cute couple holding hands or kissing before class.”
“Go Long! Predictors of Positive Relationship Outcomes in Long Distance Dating Relationships,” a study from the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, found that a long-term relationship does not lead to a lower quality relationship.
The authors of the study said their findings contradicted the general negative attitude toward the sustainability of long-distance relationships. Couples who were further apart generally did better in areas like satisfaction, intimacy and communication.
Their findings indicated that a relationship doesn’t necessarily depend on distance or the amount of face-to-face contact. Instead, a person’s attitude about how long the relationship will last is a main factor.
Beville and Dupeire said they are confident their relationship will last. Dupeire asked her to marry him last New Year’s Eve.
“I proposed to her to let her know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her,” Dupeire said. “I’m in it for the long haul. I would absolutely say that helps the relationship a little bit.”
Beville said the two try to Skype once a week and talk on the phone when they can. She said it is hard since their schedules don’t always line up. They only see each other in person around four or five times each year during holidays or long weekends.
She does think the distance can put strain on their relationship.
“If we are together, we hardly ever fight,” Beville said. “When we are apart, I think it’s just that frustration of not being able to physically see each other and physically talk to each other that causes a lot of really pointless fights.”
Despite any fights, she said the long-distance relationship has really built up their trust for one another and prepared her for the future. Dupeire will join the Air Force and when he is deployed, they will once again have to endure a long-distance relationship.
“I know it’s going to happen, but I feel fully prepared for it now,” Beville said. “At that point, I will have done it for four years. I think this is kind of good practice.”
Beville said long-distance relationships are not for people who aren’t fully invested in their relationships.
But in her case, she doesn’t regret the decision.
“When you love a person, it is definitely worth it,” Beville said. “Everything beautiful is worth getting hurt over. It hurts, but I know in the long run [that] I get to marry him.”
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