We've been here a few weeks and have all settled back onto campus. Or, if you're a freshman, you've at least gotten your feet wet. Now that we're in the swing of things, I have a few words of wisdom to make all our lives, or maybe just mine, a little bit easier. Be sure to take each piece of advice that follows in stride. The biggest courtesy you can offer in your living area, whether on campus or off, is respecting your roommates and neighbors. This means your surround sound system's bass should only be heard from the next apartment over (or above you) on Friday/Saturday nights. Don't take something from the fridge if your roommate bought it. Regardless of whose food you take, you should do your own dishes. Keep your mess in your own space. In regard to the bathroom, always flush the toilet after using it. No one wants to see what your digested meal looks like. If you pee on the toilet seat (guys and ladies), wipe it up. Most importantly, do not poop anywhere but inside the toilet. Along the same lines, don't pee, puke or poop in the showers. And because someone will likely not follow this rule, make sure to wear shower shoes in the shower. Toe fungus is not fun. Other common courtesies include not burning popcorn at 3 a.m. and making sure to clear the lint from the dryer before starting a new load. No one wants to be awoken in the middle of the night to a false fire alarm. And last, but certainly not least, don't screw with other people's whiteboards. They're there for communication purposes, not pornographic sketches. My next section of advice is centered on campus life. Please don't wear residence hall lanyards, apparel from colleges other than Ball State University or your high school letter jacket. We don't care if you live in Knotts/Edwards, love Purdue and played tennis at Podunkville High. Now, I'm not sure how many of you are from larger cities, but you are supposed to share the roads and sidewalks with others. This means you shouldn't sprint through the Scramble Light when there are 30 seconds left to walk, hitting everyone along the way. This also means you should only walk through the crosswalks when cars aren't about to drive by. Yes, pedestrians have the right of way, but cars are bigger than people and are more likely to win that battle. Also, you should only bike on the roads, not the sidewalk. When using the shuttles, only take up one seat. Hold your bag between your feet or in your lap. Conversing in large groups should be reserved for meeting rooms, class and lounges, not the middle of sidewalks, hallways or food lines. We all have places to be - your conversation is not more important. When entering or exiting buildings, you should hold the door open for someone if they are three steps or fewer behind you. In buildings, don't walk slowly through hallways. Unless absolutely necessary, don't ride the elevator if you're only going one floor. When waiting for a class to get out, don't block the doorway. Also, don't wear excessive perfume or cologne or eat meals in class. No one wants to smell that. Lastly, never, under any circumstance, Facebook about how your professor is an idiot. Even dumb professors somehow find it.
The last section of advice is on party etiquette. This seems to be the most disregarded etiquette in college life, yet following a few simple rules can mean the difference between a great experience and a miserable one. When searching for a party, don't travel in a large group. A large group is classified as seven or more people. Groups larger than this are often referred to as a "freshman flock."
If you do find a party, don't walk in and start inviting 20 of your friends to the same party. The only time this is acceptable is if the party is yours. If the party isn't yours, don't pretend that it is. There is nothing more annoying than someone who doesn't know anything about the house giving orders to people who are regulars there. Whatever party you do attend, make sure to bring your own alcohol. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO EVER STEAL SOMEONE ELSE'S ALCOHOL. When drinking, make sure you know your limit. Because you will likely go over your limit occasionally, make sure you don't destroy things. Also, only puke in socially acceptable places. This means toilets and bushes away from the party, not over balconies or into kitchen sinks. Should you find a member of the opposite sex who doesn't know his or her limit, PDA isn't allowed. This is also general campus etiquette. After meeting someone, it is not acceptable to put that person's number in your phone as "booty call 1," "booty call 2" or "pancake girl." If you do, don't let said people see your phone. I hope that while reading this column, you've either had a good laugh or learned something. These are the rules to live by in college - follow and succeed, disregard and end up burning bridges, losing friends and eventually making your own life miserable.
Write to Frank at frhood@bsu.edu
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