John Connor loves his two daughters - and his office shows it.
His screensaver, a calendar on his wall and more than a dozen picture frames on his windowsill create a timeline of the years he has spent with Katelyn and Grace, the two children Connor and his wife adopted from China.
"You have no idea what you're missing until you experience [being a father]," Connor said. "I can come home and hear two little girls screaming 'Daddy!' You realize what's important in life."
Connor, an attorney for Ball State University's student legal services, said he almost missed out on that experience. He was in his late 40s when he and his wife decided to adopt, and his age became a roadblock in the process. Many domestic and international adoption agencies require adoptive parenting candidates to be younger than 45.
Then Connor found a fit - China. Because wisdom and maturity are valued more in Chinese culture, he said, the Chinese government allows adoption by men and women over than the age limit in other countries.
With the help of Families Through International Adoption in Evansville, Ind., he and his wife traveled to China in 2001 to meet their then-14-month-old daughter, Katelyn. Two years later, they returned to China to bring home 17-month-old Grace.
Not the Only One
Beth Turcotte, associate professor of theatre, and Teresa McClain, assistant professor of speech-language pathology, have also adopted daughters through FTIA.
FTIA helps couples in Indiana, Kentucky, Kansas, Missouri, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania coordinate adoptions from seven countries around the world. According to the agency's official Web site, adoption candidates can ask to be matched up with children from Brazil, China, Ethiopia, Guatemala, India, Russia or Vietnam.
McClain said the worst part about the tedious application process is the lack of control she had over the situation. Adoptions can take about 30 months, but if the other country's government chooses to delay international adoptions, all applicants can do is wait.
"If they slow down, they slow down," she said. "There's nothing you can do about it."
McClain said she adopted from China because the country had more children available for international adoption. She said she did not think adopting children from another country makes them any less her own.
"I don't feel that love has a boundary," she said.
Finding a Supportive Community
Turcotte and McClain participated in Ball State University's first study abroad delegation to China in 1986, which sparked an interest in Chinese culture for both women.
Turcotte said she returned to China several times to teach classes on American dance styles, to enjoy the culture and to adopt.
Turcotte spreads her enthusiasm for her 13-year-old daughter Emma by speaking on campus about what she called her "paper pregnancy."
"Who wouldn't want to talk to others about the greatest love of their life?" she said.
Turcotte's strong connection to Emma inspired Connor to adopt Katelyn.
"They [Turcotte and her family] invited my wife and I over to meet their daughter, and we walked away from that meeting knowing this was what we wanted to do," he said.
Turcotte, McClain and Connor's similar circumstances formed a bond between them and other adoptive parents who traveled to China with them.
"When I first adopted from China, I didn't know I'd be gaining friends, too," McClain said. "You're there when they meet their children for the first time, and it's personal, like being in the delivery room with them."
Parents who have adopted through FTIA meet once each year to remember the journey they made and to share stories about their children. Because the children grew up in the same orphanage and formed a connection with the other adopted children, this is an opportunity for them to reunite with peers from their native country, McClain said.
Connor said networking with other adoptive parents and receiving advice and encouragement positively affect his children.
"It's most beneficial for the girls," Connor said. "They see other Asian girls with Caucasian parents, so it's not unusual for them."
McClain said she initially had some concerns about raising her daughters in Muncie. Her older daughter, 9-year-old Anne Mei, felt like she stood out because the city lacked ethnic diversity and was, somewhat, racially divided. Recently both girls have been warmly received at the school and in the community, McClain said.
Her daughters also have found friends in Girl Scout Troop 42 in Indianapolis, she said. The troop is one of the first in the nation designed to expose adopted Chinese girls to their native culture, she said.
Adoptive parents have other sources of support apart from each other. Connor said he asked Ball State students who were adopted from East Asian countries about how they wish they had been raised. He considers their answers when deciding whether to teach his children more about their Chinese heritage, he said.
"Some say they want more culture, but some say they had too much of it rammed down their throats," he said.
Turcotte also wants to educate her daughter about her Chinese background, but she said she will leave that choice up to Emma.
"I will do anything to support her," Turcotte said. "If she chooses to learn more about her culture, if she wants to go to China, that's up to her heart and spirit."
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