An open letter to the one who left me:
I don't recall the first time we met, although the experience was as invigorating to my soul as it was my heart.
I was young and empty inside; deprived of a basic need too often we take for granted. We met through mutual friends with an understanding of our situations. They brought me to your home on University Avenue, and I grew excited as we reached your front door. I heard so many good things in passing but was eager to experience you one-on-one.
It was no surprise to our friends that we connected immediately. I couldn't let you out of sight or out of my mind. You were the subject of my conversation with so many. People said you were cold, cheap and bad for me, but I didn't want to listen. My desire only grew stronger; I needed no other in my life. Your qualities were addicting.
Sure, we hung out in different crowds. The bulk of your time was spent with cigarettes, hookahs and candy bars. I led a different lifestyle, but it wasn't enough to divide our passion.
When I moved closer to you sophomore year, midday visits to your home on University Avenue became routine. I picked you up and we walked to campus together until eventually time came for us to part. Our ritual was comfortable. You even helped me in completing my assignments.
I needed you, but not as much as I realized you needed me. That's clearly where things went wrong.
As my college career progressed our visits were less frequent. Our afternoons of walks were challenged by meetings, school and work. I cut you out of my life without ever realizing it.
I take blame for my actions. I had obligations and responsibilities stealing my attention. New people continued to enter your life. Occasionally I'd see you on campus, spitefully fronting your happiness. But it was just that: a front. I knew what was inside of you, and I was confident that only I could bring it out. I wanted you back, but I never mustered the strength to return to your doorstep.
Before long, I'd regret that decision.
News of your imminent departure came to me this summer while away from this city. I knew I had to return for a final rendezvous with you.
I set a time. As hoped, you were waiting there on University - just like the first time we met. You were begging to be held. I brought you closer, indulging in your addictive taste on my lips. All was right with the world. I wanted that moment to last forever.
Alas, our time here is short. This love was but a fairy tale with no happy ending. These volatile times change our lives without warning or regard. You are gone. I can't have you. Life must move forward. Yet to have you in my hands again, seconds from enjoying your sweet serenity, is a dream sequence eternally playing in the depths of my weakened heart.
In our moments together your presence transformed my life into an energetic synchronization of love, strength and happiness. You brought so much out of me, and allowed me to take so much out of you.
For that, I'm eternally thankful - no matter how cheap, cold and bad for me you were.
Farewell beloved Den Pop. You're forever in my blood.
Write to Dave at heydave@bewilderedsociety.com