Welcome to day one.
This orientation session officially brings you into the bureaucratic system that is academia. You're a college student now. You, too, can join the rest of the world in looking down on "those immature high school kids."
In a metaphoric sense, you're an artist. No, I realize that might not actually be your major, but play along for the sake of not having to pay attention to the seemingly irrelevant orientation program taking place around you.
You've got a blank canvas. See, sounds sort of like "campus!" With this canvas comes the ability to (re)create your identity. No one knows you here outside of those who went to your high school. The rumor mill is closed, the workers were laid off and now you own the plant.
Do whatever you want. Just remember physics and sociology meet here. Every action comes with an equal and opposite reaction.
Ask this simple question: How do you want others to think of you?
Present yourself however you feel you should be portrayed. Break your shell and be who you really want to be. Maybe you don't know yet, and that's cool. Maybe you feel confident in who you are, and that's fine too. Use this upcoming "life journey" everyone keeps talking about and trail blaze it to no end. This isn't about fitting in; this is about being who you want to be. People admire confidence as they do beauty, and they are not necessarily correlated.
To be fair, college students still struggle with this. Ask the tanning salons.
In regard to oversight: Your parents are held behind the gates of distance come August, so don't over-concern yourself with hiding in their shadows. Just don't piss them off, especially if they pay your bills; that'll backfire faster than you can repay your student loans.
Note to parents reading this column: Don't turn around and point this paragraph out to your son or daughter. This will likely result in an, "Uh, whatever."
On a semi-related note, don't be overly cocky. Cocky is bad - very bad. Cocky made you look like an ass in high school and it'll make you look like a bigger ass in college. There's a fine line between being self-confident and a douchebag. Don't cross the line.
You won't wake up one morning to find that you're a completely redesigned _________ (insert your name there.) Changes occur naturally with the realizations you'll have in the coming months and years. Use the first few weeks of school to establish yourself as who you want to be, and then mold your character as time goes on. There's no reason to be self-conscious, but it's natural and understandable if you are. This consciousness never completely fades; you just learn to manage it better.
Alas, a few other tips:
Don't fear feeling awkward on move-in day. You WILL feel awkward on move-in day, and so will every other person around you. The sweet thing is that no one knows you, so
A lot of people drink; a fair amount do not. Don't worry about trying to fit with a crowd. Do what you're comfortable doing, just be smart and safe. If drugs are part of your scene now, give yourself a heavy self-evaluation. Far too many students are kicked out of residence halls - and ultimately school - every year for smoking pot in their halls. Don't try and get away with it: Just when you get comfortable you'll get busted.
If on-campus living isn't your cup of non-alcoholic beverage, start talking to upperclassmen about living situations off campus. December seems like forever from now and forever from next year, but it's about the time you'll need to seriously evaluate your off-campus choices if that's where you're headed.
That's a long way off, though.
It is only day one.
Write to Dave atheydave@bewilderedsociety.com
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