"There is a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend. There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend. And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb, but there's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of your time." - a line from the musical "Avenue Q".
I may be quoting a musical that involves puppets who swear and have sex, but there is nothing more true than the message above. How much trouble do we get ourselves when we start to love our friends? Of course, we love our friends, but what do we do when that tension between you and your guy friend becomes obvious, and joking around turns into butterflies and - dare I say - feelings?
If I were a psychologist, I'd diagnose single-ness with bipolar syndrome. Speaking purely on a relationship outlook - not independence, self-worth, friends, etc. - being single can either be really, really fantastic or an absolute bust.
That grey area usually happens right when you get out of a relationship that you wanted to get out of, or right before the start of a new one.
The pleasures of being single involve the following: flirting with whomever you want, going out in groups - we all know you're more attractive to a group of guys if you're with a group of girls - and having no strings attached.
The bad include being exhausted from wearing heels every night that make your legs look fantastic, not having anyone to call when you wake up at 4 a.m. with food poisoning and missing the life of "just because."
Being single at the moment, I find myself seeking that sort of comfort in my dearest guy friends. Understanding that they can't always give me back what I need or want, they are the closest thing I have to a boyfriend and I run into yearning so much for things I'll never get - simply because we're friends and just friends, and because I'm a single, straight woman.
I am well aware that crossing over to the "more than friends" waters would never work and only ruin the beautiful friendships we already possess. I know I'm not alone in this battle. If you've never fallen for a guy friend or a girl friend, you will. And it'll suck.
My favorite story of all is when I fell in love with the male lead of the musical I was in, and I was, respectively, the female lead. As 15-year-olds, our chemistry on stage was magical and I was sure he was the one. Well, closing night comes around and he finally asks me to be his girlfriend. Thrilled, I said yes and we had three very different months together. To make a long story short, this boyfriend of mine pulled the plug because he liked men - yikes - and left me in the cold, experiencing what every girl who is involved in theater goes through.
Sadly enough, mine happened when I was a sophomore in high school, but it goes to show not to fall for your best friend, especially if he's questioning his own sexuality. Luckily, I still remain very good friends with the man, but it took awhile to understand that we were happier as friends for a number of reasons.
To assist you in answering this problematic question, I'd say be careful. If it's a healthy friendship and the sparks are obvious and incredible, go for it. If it's burning in your brain for months and is beginning to hurt, then frankly, it might not be mutual. If it were, why would it have taken this long to say something? Remember you can't change someone's sexual preference as hard as you try, and even the most wonderful people are better off as friends. Continue to protect yourself and keep in mind that life is too short to waste an ounce of time.
Chelsea Picken is a sophomore theater major and writes 'A Shot in the Dark' for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper.
Write to Chelsea at cppicken@bsu.edu.
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