We are raised to follow a few golden rules.
As children, we either want to raise hell or win gold stars, but whether we use them or not we learn and know these rules and probably still can recite them.
I feel like I learned "treat others the way you want to be treated" before I could read, but I am afraid to say that this article is not based on that specific deed.
At rehearsal this week, my practically-boyfriend was mocking me about how I'm sensitive to ridiculous situations and how I'm not inferior to him - I claim his asinine comments tend to belittle me.
Yes, I wanted attention during this tiff and no, I don't actually feel this way, but when he proceeded to comment to others about my behavior, I casually walked away. I can sometimes be brilliant and deliver witty comebacks but that night that box was empty, so I took the high road.
After he was out of sight and when I stopped being sassy, I thought of something that hadn't crossed my mind since Crayola came out with the Big Box; "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
At that moment of discovery, I couldn't think of a time when I was truly mad and didn't speak my mind.
Of course, I hold my breath from revealing my true opinion about Ugg Boots, even when people scold me for owning and wearing purple crocs.
I do believe that people take insults way too seriously, so let's ask ourselves something: When is it okay to break this golden rule?
Last spring I gave the silent treatment when a friend went a little haywire and made some bad choices.
At that time, I felt dominant after she apologized because I felt like speaking would give her more power than she already had. I simply walked away. It wasn't until later in the summer when I got verbally pissed, and at that point I missed her so much I had lost interest in defending myself.
Don't speak your mind to put yourself in power.
Putting others down to make yourself feel better is crappy, and that sort of insecurity should be handled in other ways. Also, others - as they should - could turn against you for being such a jerk.
On that note, if they are at fault enough for you to get upset in the first place, then they probably already feel horrible.
Avoid blowing things out of proportion. It's uncomplicated to pick fights and freak out when the other person in the scene pushes back. Eventually, the more you push and pick, the more likely he or she is to lose balance and get out of the relationship.
Plus, do understand that most of the things that make you mad don't matter. I promise you don't want to lose something valuable over a slight irritation.
If you are deathly afraid of confrontation and would rather live in the sewer than speak up, I suggest trying to make some adjustments - for a number of reasons, not just because sewers are gross.
It is not okay to be taken advantage of because you're nice, gracious or a very generous person. The best thing you can do to your mental health is bring to the attention that you're bugged to whomever is giving you a hard time.
If they feel bad and change their actions around you, then they deserve to be kept as friends. If not, they aren't worth your time.
Being the bigger person is always the most successful solution. Your preschool teacher will be proud of you when you have nothing nice to say and you remain allay. It's the way to go.
Chelsea Picken is a sophomore theater major and writes 'A Shot in the Dark' for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper.
Write to Chelsea at cppicken@bsu.edu.
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