Individuals struggling with their sexual identity have more difficulty coming out to themselves than coming out to anyone else, Danny Roberts, former "Real World" cast member, said Thursday.
"I'd say 90 percent of the process is honesty with yourself," Roberts said during a Ball State University Spectrum-sponsored speech Thursday night in Pruis Hall. "The reason it's such a difficult process is because people think they just have to find the right way to suppress it."
Spectrum President Zac Davis said Roberts' speech was part of Spectrum's "reality-themed" fall semester.
"What we were thinking was to try to find someone who fit the theme and would be a good, solid speaker," Davis said. "His boyfriend was in the military, so he can talk about the struggles of having a gay relationship with your partner being in the military. We have several members who are in different facets of the military in Spectrum."
Roberts, who was on "Real World: New Orleans" during 2000, chronicled his experiences on the show as well as the problems he experienced carrying on a romantic relationship with U.S. Army Capt. Paul Dill, whose identity was concealed during the airing of "Real World". In episodes that included Dill, his face was blurred out.
"Everyone should date a featureless blur," Roberts said, garnering laughter and applause from the audience at Pruis. "They're easy to get along with."
Dill had to keep his identity secret because of the U.S. military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, Roberts said. Had their relationship been exposed, Dill would have faced jail time.
"I find it funny that we send our military to fight wars to bring freedom to these other people, but the military itself doesn't have rules that promote freedom," Roberts said.
Ball State student Anita Brown said though she cosiders herself knowledgeable on issues related to homosexuality, she found Roberts' speech informative.
"I had no idea about higher-level military officers being jailed for being gay," Brown said. "I've been trying to keep informed, and I'm glad I heard about that."
Roberts said that before his first gay relationship, which was at Georgia State University, he grew up in a small, Georgia town that instilled in him a homophobic attitude.
"I honestly believed all gays were freaks who lived in California and other weird, faraway places," Roberts said.
Roberts said his first gay sexual relationship was sparked during a recreational basketball game at Georgia State.
"I don't know why it is in sports that ass-slapping is OK, but that's how it started," Roberts said.
He also spoke about the evolution of reality TV and its impact on "Real World". When "Survivor" started halfway through 2000, he said, "Real World" directors had to play up house drama to drive up ratings.
Current episodes of "Real World" are disturbing, Roberts said, because they depict life in a house with young people as "an orgy."
"I know children watch that show, and I'm afraid they think that that's normal," he said.
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