Webster has nine definitions for the word "loss":
GÇó Number one: the fact of no longer having something or having less of something;
GÇó Number five: a feeling of sadness, loneliness, or emptiness at the absence of somebody or something; and
GÇó Number seven: an instance of losing a competition, race or contest.
Nobody likes to be defeated in most aspects. Losing your heart, and maybe even yourself, is no trip to the park.-á
I think we all can agree that after a tough breakup, the most comfortable place is in the fetal position under the covers.
The words "Oh, you'll be fine, just get over it" create the most discouraging phrase. Quite frankly, the thought of being absent from this particular person makes you sick to your stomach.
Although our friends and families hate to see us sad, sometimes we just need to cry. We need to vent, we need to be sad for however long it takes.
Brilliant British author Carole Matthews wrote a short story about a woman whose husband died. "My chosen books feature loss, deprivation and hardship," she said.
Sometimes depressed people can only get pleasure out of putting themselves in situations that almost always have a negative outcome. After my boyfriend and I broke up, I couldn't control my addiction to see him. Every time I got involved in that messy situation I'd come home crying, questioning why on Earth I tortured myself. Love screws with your equilibrium. -á
There comes a time when you have to recover and dig yourself out of this miserable hole that so many of us camp out in for weeks, months - maybe even years.
I promise from experience that once you cross that bridge, life will look a whole lot brighter.
There are six stages of grief. By the time you have completed them all, you should notice a change in your personal aura.
Number one: Denial. The "this isn't happening to me" stage can relate to feeling numb. If someone close to you has died, it's the feeling after that first phone call.
Number two: Nausea. The tears and nauseated feeling - or the actual acts - whenever you think of him or her, which is about every other second. You stay home from work or school, cry or just sit.
Number three: Anger. Every picture and letter is burned. The fact that after two weeks he's already dating another girl and now you're "the ex-girlfriend" pisses you off even more. At this stage you might even prank call - good lord, do we still do that? - or go on a rampage on his voice mail. And yes, he is screening your calls, which makes you even madder.
Number four: Bargaining. Ever heard of a rebound? Not as in basketball, kids, but the "relationship" kind. We settle for something - or someone - that will temporarily satisfy us, whether it's another girl, your ex-ex boyfriend or even a pint of Rocky Road and some "Sleepless in Seattle" action.
Number five: Depression. You don't want to feel better and are pleased if the one thing in your life that's constant is crying yourself to sleep. At that point - which I pray none of you have to face - the only direction we can go is up.
Which is why number six is acceptance. It's learning to be OK with yourself and with the situation and knowing in your heart that life isn't so bad after all. You can listen to your favorite songs that you may have once listened to with him and actually enjoy the music. You can look in the mirror and like the person you've become because you're a hell of a lot stronger than you once were. -á
The outcome of that miserable time period is knowing that you might have discovered yourself. And maybe, just maybe, you've discovered that you're pretty great.
Chelsea Picken is a sophomore musical theatre major and writes 'A Shot in the Dark' for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper.
Write to Chelsea Picken at cppicken@bsu.edu.
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