When Saydah Lieway was kidnapped in northern Indiana last summer and tried to escape from a member of a prominent hate group, she learned the importance of showing grace to her abductor.
For her, being calm and forgiving meant the difference between life and death.
"I don't know how I can stand here talking, breathing and alive," said Lieway, a Ball State University student blogger and sophomore communications major. She told her story to a group of about 35 students in the L.A. Pittenger Student Center Forum Room Wednesday night.
Lieway's speech, "I Chose Forgiveness," was part of the Campus Culture Connection, sponsored by Ball State's multicultural advisors this semester. Valerie Phillips, a multicultural advisor, said when she first learned Lieway's story, she felt students should know about it.
"I was seriously so inspired and so moved that I wanted her story to be heard," Phillips said.
Lieway's story began when she moved to work in a town in northern Indiana, the name of which she did not want to disclose. The town was small, with maybe two stop lights, she said.
"They didn't even have a Wal-Mart," Lieway said.
Lieway, who moved in with a family who used to serve as missionaries in Africa, stayed with six children, three foreign exchange students and two adults. During her second day in the town, she wanted to go apply for a job at Pizza Hut and learned that residents rode bikes everywhere instead of driving, which was one of her first culture shocks.
"That's what happens when you move from place to place - you learn that people have differences, and that's okay," said Lieway, who was born in Liberia, West Africa and later lived in England before moving to the United States.
One day when she was preparing to go to her job interview, one of the sarcastic daughters she was staying with told her hitchhiking was also common in the town; Lieway took her seriously.
While she was biking to Pizza Hut, a man named John Golab pulled up beside her in a truck and asked if she wanted a ride as it began to rain. To respect the culture of the town, she agreed and put her bike in the back of the truck.
But from the start, she knew the man was strange.
"The first words out of his mouth were, 'You need a good discriminatory lawyer,'" Lieway said. "But again, respecting your elders was something that was ingrained in me from a very young age. So, taking that into context, I didn't say anything."
Golab then told her he had a black live-in once, and his expression turned sour as he gripped the steering wheel and his knuckles turned white.
"'I caught her in bed with another man, but I fixed him good...I fixed him good,'" Lieway said, restating what Golab had told her.
After he dropped her off at Pizza Hut, she decided to get a ride back home from him with the understanding that hitchhiking was the norm. Golab looked at her strangely and then covered his expression up and acted eager, Lieway said.
After Lieway got the job at Pizza Hut, she stepped outside and later found that her bike was already in Golab's truck, which was running and waiting for her outside Pizza Hut.
"I felt like my escape had been cut off," Lieway said. "I felt like my option to leave if I had wanted to had been snatched."
After she got in the truck and refused his offer to dinner, she told him she had to go home and babysit six children with diabetes. When Golab then invited her to look at a car he was willing to offer her, she was interested and agreed to go.
But when they reached the lot where the car was supposed to be located, Golab told her the car was actually located at his house. When Lieway told him she had to leave, Golab locked the doors, put the car in reverse and drove off with her.
After realizing she had been kidnapped, she tried to remain calm and not show Golab that she was intimidated or scared. When they reached the house, Golab told her the car was located in the back, and he went into his house.
Lieway anticipated running away but knew she was three miles out of town and that, if Golab caught her, he would only become angrier. So she decided to follow him into the house.
When she walked in, the first thing she noticed was a banner on the back wall that showed a confederate flag. Below it were the words "White Aryan Resistance." Below that was the word "war" and an image of skull with a patch on its eye and crossbones.
"It hit me - it hit me like a ton of bricks," Lieway said. "I'm going to die. This isn't just some crazy man now; this man wants my life."
Lieway said she appreciated the sociology core class she took at Ball State because, without it, she wouldn't have fully grasped what was happening to her. In the class, she had learned about a hate group that followed the procedure Golab had followed with her from the beginning. They ended up killing a black man.
Later, when Golab and Lieway got into Golab's truck again, he told her they had one more stop - an abandoned trailer park where they met two other men, including a man named Pee Wee.
When Lieway was outside at one point, she said divine intervention told her to take out her cell phone and simply begin talking. She purposely mentioned Golab's name out loud, mentioned that he drove a red truck and was in his 40s and talked about the need to call the police if she wasn't home in about 15 minutes. When Golab overheard her, he panicked and agreed to take Lieway home.
But when he, Lieway and Pee Wee later got in Golab's truck, Golab said they had to go to "one more stop."
"It's over," Lieway said as she recalled the experience. "This is how I'm going to die."
The story took a turn for the better, however, as the three approached a "T" in the road. Golab told Lieway that something about her personality struck him and that, because of it, he would take her home.
"The joy that I felt - it was indescribable," Lieway said.
She said she believed God was with her the entire time and that the experience taught her the importance of showing grace to people who showed hate to her. Forgiveness is a powerful tool, she said.
"It was love, forgiveness and grace that changed that man's mind. It wasn't hate," Lieway said. "The only thing that can douse out the fires of hate are the water of forgiveness."
Multicultural advisor Zac Davis said Lieway's story was a wake-up call to students who often overlook the acts of hatred that are still taking place in today's society.
"I want to say I'm surprised, but I can't because, living in Indiana, there are things happening every day that we don't think about."
Junior Stephan Jeffrey especially appreciated the moral of Lieway's story, he said.
"The whole message she [said] about hate only causes more hate was very enlightening," he said. "I really took it to heart."
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