We (Charlie Cardinals, not the little ones) regret to inform you (the students, faculty and staff) that we have been locked out. Locked out of our own locker room located in the catacombs of Worthern Arena. Locked out by none other than our trusty sidekicks, the athletic department. We love them for all of their false gratitude, zero scholarships, zero financial support (other than monthly pizza at meetings) and of course not giving us a key to our locker room (located inside another locker room). So we would like to apologize to the following organizations for not showing up, due to our lock-out situation:
Groups: Alumni, Faculty, Staff, SGA, SVS, RHA, IFC, PHC, University Democrats, College Republicans, UPB, EIL, EIA, Alpha Lambda Delta, Order of Omega, NSCS, Golden Key, Mortar Board, Natural Resource Club, Band Ensembles, Choral Groups and hundreds of other great organizations.
Events: Air Jam, Various Philanthropic Events, Numerous Residence Hall Events, Talent Shows, Mr. & Ms. Ball State and a hand full of community-related events (such as the Big Brothers/Big Sisters events).
Athletic Teams: Badminton, Bowling, Boxing, Cycling, Equestrian, Fencing, Power Lifting, Sailing, Scuba, Snowboarding, Soccer, Water Polo, Water Ski, Ultimate Frisbee, Wrestling, Gymnastics, Volleyball, Running, Baseball, Golf, Track and a few games of Women's Basketball.
We need a key, a coded lock, something so we can do our job. We don't think we have enjoyed anything more than our role as Charlie here at Ball State. We love it! No matter how many times we sit and wonder why we put on a helmet and fur coat that is hotter than Dante's Inferno, we know why. We love to see the children call out "Charlie" and run towards us, hug us, give us high five after high five until their parents have to pry them away. We love when we get intoxicated off the fumes from drunken fan's breath, and when they hug us and take drunken pictures with Charlie. We love giving hugs to all the ladies (and guys). We love the fact that we represent our school. We make sure we get everything covered that we can. We show up, and sometimes we even cover three events a day like one of us did last week, even on short notice. Do we look forward to being done after covering such events as Career Day, a blood drive and a volleyball game? OH YES. But do we "Charlie it up" until we are done? With all our hearts.
We do not want money, scholarships or free parking at the athletic events (unless of course that is feasible). Instead we want a simple key to open our simple converted broom closet, which just so happens to be our locker room. Looking at the work we have done for this school, community and city, we only see it fitting that we each receive a small golden key, which would unlock our locker room. We just want to be able to do our jobs.
With much love for the Ball State community,
-Charlie Cardinal
P.S. We would also like our scooter back as well
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