One of Justin Cross's dreams was to get married, and in the final days of his life, Rachel Dejong made that dream come true.
The two were married on Dec. 31, five days before Cross died after a four-and-a-half-year battle with leukemia.
Cross, a member of the Ball State men's golf team, was 24 and 15 credit hours short of his bachelor's degree in finance.
Cross graduated in 1999 from Richmond High School and played on the team up to and after being diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia in June 2000.
Initially Cross received chemotherapy, which kept him out of school for a year but eventually caused the cancer to go into remission. He returned in 2001-02 and played for two seasons before cancer reappeared, causing him to undergo a bone marrow transplant in August 2003. Just short of his transplants one-year anniversary, he relapsed.
Dejong and Cross had dated for almost two years and discussed marriage many times, but they wanted to wait until both were out of school. In late July when he relapsed, Cross told his father he wanted to be able to get married and have kids. He feared the relapse would prevent that from happening, he said to his father.
"I thought at least I can make one of them come true," Dejong said.
After his condition continued to worsen, the two were engaged on Dec. 28. Initially they hoped to hold a traditional marriage ceremony when Cross could leave the hospital, but that time never came.
Instead the two were joined in a covenant marriage, which is in the eyes of God only. It was not a legally binding marriage because of legal issues.
Cross's sister, Whitney Mires, started a journal on caringbridge.com Dec. 22 that followed the final days of Cross' life.
According to the journal, doctors pronounced Cross' leukemia incurable on Dec. 20. The family had two options: Discontinue treatment and allow for comfort measures or undergo the strongest and riskier type of chemotherapy. They opted for the chemotherapy.
"Justin was a fighter, and he said, 'I'm going to fight this,'" Dejong said.
Typically Cross was used to leaving the hospital quickly after receiving chemotherapy, but this time that was not possible.
"He'd been counting on getting out, even for a few hours," Mires said. "He was down, but we wanted to do what we could to get his spirits up."
A family split apart by divorce joined together and brought Christmas to him in the lobby on his floor.
Mires said while many might think it had to be one of the worst Christmas' the family ever had, it wasn't.
"It was truly the best because we all knew inside that it might be his last."
Soon after Christmas, Cross' health continued to deteriorate and that's when Dejong decided to go ahead with the engagement.
Dejong kept a cot by his bed and has many memories of the final days. The morning after the two were married she remembers waking up and seeing his eyes one final time before he closed them for good, she said.
The doctors told the family that Cross could hear so they all spoke to him during the last four days when he was heavily sedated.
"Sometimes he would give me signs that he could hear me," Dejong said.
She was with Cross during his final breaths.
"He fought to the end," she said.
At one point, Dejong asked him if he was scared to die. He said he wasn't scared of dying but was scared of leaving everyone behind.
The many he left behind will remember his personality.
Everyone remembers his courage and faith. Brian Lassiter, his roommate for over four years, said he remembers his wittiness. Former teammate Bud Graessle said he was as good of a friend as a person could have. His sister said she remembers him as a beautiful person with a beautiful smile. Dejong said he was the most selfless guy she ever meet.
Men's golf head coach Mike Fleck said he wants people to remember how courageous Cross was throughout his battle with leukemia.
"There's a lot of memories, but the one thing that just sticks in my mind most is he was one of the most courageous kids," Fleck said. "Because of his faith and attitude, I don't think there's anybody out there that could have gone through this the way he did."
Graessle said his courage and faith played a huge role in how he represented the team.
"As a teammate, he represented the team as well as anyone could have," Graessle said.
Lassiter said Cross was a pillar of strength.
"His attitude was probably better then anybody else's."
Mires said he touched a large spectrum of people, something that was evident from the hundreds of signatures in the guest book on caringbridge.com.
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