I'd like to believe in the legal system. I'd like to believethat the purpose of the lawyer is to assist me in obtainingjustice. When I go to bed at night, I want to do so with an easymind, knowing as I do that if a crazed maniac breaks into myapartment and I beat him unconscious with a tire iron, I will notgo to jail for doing so.
These are things I would like to believe.
It comes as a blow, therefore, when I find that companies Ipreviously viewed with respect and at least some admiration havebeen using this sacred trust between citizen and lawmaker tobludgeon innocent Websites about the head and face. I am speaking,of course, about the recent incident between SuicideGirls andNintendo. For those who don't know, SuicideGirls is a Websitewhere, yes, people take their clothes off. It's gained quite areputation for being one of the very best of the Websites wherepeople take their clothes off, and just recently, it's been givensome free publicity by Nintendo, makers of such fine games as SuperMario Brothers and Metroid. It seems a member of the SuicideGirlsWebsite mentioned in his personal profile that he liked a couple ofNintendo games, and Nintendo, in blatant denial of common sense,sent the Website a cease-and-desist order, claiming "unauthorizeduse of Nintendo trademark works". If that were true, does it meanif I OWN and USE a Nintendo product, and Nintendo decides I'm doingthings it doesn't like - hopefully not taking off my clothes formoney - it could force me to cease and desist making unauthorizeduse of its trademarks? If I tell my buddy I enjoy an ice-coldCoca-Cola on hot days, can I be sued?
The only saving grace in this tale of stupidity comes from thefact that, not so long after, someone in Nintendo who did NOT havethe I.Q. of hanging beef realized how stupid this was, and thecompany sent out an e-mail apologizing for the incident and offereda free Nintendo system to both the Website and the unlucky guywhose post got spotted. This is comforting, but only a little. Wasthe original letter part of some massive search program that looksthrough Websites for use the word "Zelda" and sends themcease-or-desist letters? Or was there someone actually at the boardwho decided it would be a good idea? I prefer to believe the letterwas some desperate attempt at covering up. I can just imagine theguy at the terminal ogling people with no clothes on, and - to hishorror - discovering his boss standing behind him.
Boss: Are you looking at PORN on company time?!
Guy: Uh, no, no of course not! I'm, uh, I'm (clickety-click) -I'm searching this site for illegal use of Nintendo trademarks!Look at that! The word "Metroid," right on the page. We must takeaction!
Boss: Are you sure-
Guy: (louder) We must take action!
Boss: Uh. Sure. Right. Carry on.
The upshot of this is that SuicideGirls received some freepublicity from the various outraged Websites out of the fiasco, andNintendo has hopefully learned a valuable lesson about shootingfirst and asking questions later. I still wonder, though, if thecompany had pushed the matter instead of recognizing it asoffensive and silly, would it have worked? I mean, the law is thereto work toward justice, right? ...Right?
Write to Jonathan attenement_cellar@msn.com
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