When it comes right down to the core of my being, I am anorganized person.
My living quarters, and especially my automobile, do not reflectthis, but, whether it is due to being left-brained or strict toilettraining or obsessive-compulsion or the desire to be the mostunpopular person on the planet, decks of my playing cards are innumerical order by suit, my clothes are organized by color and mye-mail has some semblance of order on good days.
If you personally neglect to recognize and conform to my order,I am thrown into a state of unavoidable and perpetualcheesed-offness that will end when and only when I can locatesomething to alphabetize.
Indeed, the Organization Express is the only mode oftransportation into a life that is anything but chaos; yet, itseems there are so many ways in which people embrace and publiclymake out with disarray.
First, there is Ms. No-Shopping-Agenda, who rejects a life ofstrategy. She wanders aimlessly around grocery stores for hours,even days, weaving up and down the aisles trying to remember whatto buy to fill in the empty holes in her refrigerators andcupboards while the world ages around her.
When she is finally ready to check out, not only has her milkgone bad, but, because she gathered her frozen items when shearrived in the spring of '86, she has left a Neapolitan trailzigzagging to and fro throughout the store.
Next, there is the standard Mr. I-Know-It's-Here-Somewhere. Hewill own folders and filing cabinets and other organizational itemswhich could potentially be useful tools in a relentless quest tolocate long-missing items i.e. library cards, CD cases, pets.
But he does not utilize them. Oh, sure, he will put papers intothem, but they will be placed into the folder in the order in whichthey are grabbed by the fistful from the bottom of a bulging gymbag. For this reason, said papers will also be covered with shoeprints and remnants of a Swiss Cake Roll long forgotten and left tosquish, in a disorderly manner, all over everything.
And, of course, there is Mr. (or Miss, in my experience)Neglect-the-Facts-of-Life. Fact: If you never do laundry, you willhave no clean clothes. Several of my close friends have not seenthe light at the end of the heap, however, so they have developedstrategies for wearing clothes that haven't been washed.
These are also people who have written entire recipes using onlycondiments because they do not see the necessity in going to thestore. Probably because they would slip on the trail of ice cream,fall in it, and get it all over their pants, and then they wouldn'tbe able to wear them for an additional week.
These are only a few of the varied assortment of disorganizedfolk who walk among us every day. Strangely enough, people thinkthat the disorganized lifestyle is just fine. They see no reasonfor systems and strategies. If you are one of these people, knowthat your way of life confuses and disturbs me. You may think youare okay, but your Swiss Cake Roll-covered opinion, should youlocate it in your gym bag, is wrong.
That's it. Where's something I can alphabetize?
Write to Aleshia at
aleshiathegenius@gmail.com
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