I am cursed. I am an incredibly observant person with a verygood memory, and I am usually well aware of the world around me.This curse has haunted me for as long as I can remember.
In elementary school I was able to rattle off arithmetic figuresinstantly when other kids would take a few minutes to add with thenumber nine. For those who don't understand that, nine is the magicnumber.
Middle and high school people thought I was a freak because Icould rattle off statistics, song lyrics, or any pointless factthere was no need to ever recall.
So often I see people who don't know a thing about the worldgoing on around them. I'm talking about the people who, accordingto a Gallop poll, think we've found weapons of mass destruction inIraq.
I'm talking about the people who, throughout the years, couldnot answer the easiest of questions. I'm talking about the people,documented in the book by Michael X. Delli Carpini and ScottKeeter, "What Americans Know About Politics and Why It Matters"where they point out that, in 1988, only 47 percent of people couldlocate England on a map. Here's a hint: It's an island.
Just because you're in college doesn't mean I'm not talkingabout you, either.
The problem is rooted in aliteracy, a general anti-readingattitude, and the feeling among many (even educated) Americans thatif they don't need to know something, there's no reason tolearn.
It must be great to be so ignorant. I can only imagine what itis like to not know so much about the world around me. Think aboutall the things for which we need experts on television, innewspapers, and around the world. I cannot imagine the weight thatwould be lifted from my mind had I never heard a word of it.
I mean, to not care about the world around us, how wonderfulwould that be?
To make such obvious statements (usually followed by "get 'erdone!") as "fantasy football is a fun and legal way to make thegame more exciting," "chocolate is good," and "'Friends' is sofunny" would be outstanding. But unfortunately I am bogged down bymy ability for complex thoughts and therefore am doomed tooveranalyze everything I do, to know the difference between Belgianand Swiss chocolate, and to understand some of the things thatoccurred on "Fraiser."
Sometimes wandering around this campus I am reminded of KevinKline in "A Fish Called Wanda," where his character Otto believesthe central message of Buddhism is "every man for himself," theLondon Underground was a political movement, and the GettysburgAddress was Abraham Lincoln's address.
It may have been an overdrawn clich� of British views ofAmericans, but the British are much more involved in politics,according to Carpaini and Keeter. Not to mention their joke on usdidn't involve oral hygiene.
And, if you think I'm nuts, well, you're one of the people I'vebeen talking about. And I envy you.
Write to Will at
wjohargan@bsu.edu
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