I've come to realize that college student subculture is adelicate structure built upon the firm foundation of various popculture institutions: Dave Matthews Band. Easy Mac. AOL InstantMessenger. Naked Quad Frisbee.
Like them or not, one must learn to accept the rampantpopularity of these things or be beaten to oblivion by your fellowflip-flop-clad leaders of tomorrow. This is not Jericho; no amountof marching and shouting will topple the walls of time andtradition or make Animal House any less popular. But we can dare todream.
Strangely enough, many more things that college students digoh-so-very much are unavailable to the masses, which brings us to acornerstone of college's pop culture foundation: eBay, the world'sfirst-ever combination emotional rollercoaster and rummagesale.
EBay allows you not only to find everything you ever wanted, butthings you did not know you wanted until you learned of theirexistence and/or accessibility. Such things include, but are notlimited to, original Star Wars posters, the first edition of "TheHitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," and every episode of ALF everplus Christmas specials. These are but a few of the items that Ihave purchased on eBay after coming to the bitter realization thatI could not possibly live a fulfilling life until I paid completestrangers top dollar for them with no real guarantee that theywould ever arrive. If you have an ounce of sense when you log ontoeBay, you will soon trade it, along with $35 plus shipping, for acan of Crystal Pepsi dating back to 1991. There are bottles of wineless expensive.
Not only will you find things you want and things you had noidea that you wanted, you will also discover things that othersshould be paying you to take. A few years ago, I did an eBay searchfor "crap" just to see if anyone would readily admit to the truenature of the item they were selling. Among the results, there wasan item named "Stuff and Crap." The item description read asfollows:
"That's right, folks! If you win this auction, I will send you amanila envelope of crap from around my house! It might be a pair ofscissors, a twist tie, a spoon and a magazine. It could be a miniposter of Justin Timberlake, a pen, some paper clips and an AOL CD.But it's probably nothing like that."
The top bid was $1.75 with $5.00 shipping. Someone in this world-- perhaps the person sitting next to you at this very moment --paid $6.75 for an unknown product. That person, forgive me if itwas you, must have a lone Swedish fish for a brain.
eBay is addictive and risky, like compulsive body piercing orwatching reality TV. Don't get me wrong; many aspects of eBay arecool beyond even my imagination, but if you choose to eBay, pleaseeBay responsibly.� If there is one thing college studentsdon't need, it's mail consisting only of packages from Malaysia andcredit card bills.
If you're already in a jam, gather those bills, a few thumbtacks and a coaster, put them in a manila envelope and sell them tothe highest bidder. According to my calculations, you can make atleast $6.75.
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