Sunday was a great day for American history.
Everyone's favorite duo, the Olsen twins, turned 18.
They have been sitting in their posh pad, counting the minutes until eager 30-year-olds who have been ogling them turn from borderline pedophiles into mere enthusiasts.
Most people cannot count how many times they have heard someone talking about how they cannot wait for the Olsen twins to turn 18. Web sites provided countdown clocks and pop culture magazines churned out articles as though midnight Sunday started the new millennium.
Ask any 15- to 35-year-old man, and he will tell you something like, "Of course it started a new era -- the millennium of hotness."
This, no doubt, has driven the twins to either beef up the security or say, "Finally, we're legal for all those losers 20 years our senior."
Being a sick, twisted feminist, I would suggest that they join a campaign to help young voter turnouts. Imagine the ads. "We know what we're doing when we turn 18 --- registering to vote."
Imagine the increase in the 18- to 35-year-old male turn out then.
After they register, they can prepare for their new lives at New York University.
That's right --- lives.
They are splitting up. Ashley said in an interview with Seventeen magazine that the sisters cannot make twin movies forever.
Reading that, I began to hear Journey's "Separate Ways."
This move has its dangers. Breaking up a duo usually reveals the more successful of the two. If Batman and Robin broke up, everyone would discover the Boy Wonder really was not that wonderful. Now we will finally know if Ashley Olsen was riding on Mary-Kate Olsen's coattails, or if Mary-Kate was really the only Michelle Tanner on Full House, and they just threw her sister in as a stand-in.
Let the truth be told, America. Entertainment Tonight will hound Bob Saget to get the inside story.
In all fairness, they are adults now. They can do what they want, even if that means they won't be doing it all together. According to Seventeen, they will continue working with their clothing and cosmetics line together, but on the screen, they will be apart.
The separation anxiety could be too much to handle for them, not to mention how many young men's fantasies are ruined. They will open their closets for their first day of college, realizing their wardrobes are now much smaller.
Next June, one of them might forget the other's birthday, causing additional uproar.
Whatever happens, these women deserve a chance to make themselves, on their own, in Hollywood. One could fail or both could succeed separately. Either way, they gave it a shot.
The public might be able to call them has-beens, but at least it cannot call them cowards.
Americans have refused to get to know them as separate people. Magazines and talk shows have struggled to point out their differences. One is quieter, the other more outgoing. Maybe the two are not even aware of how different they could be.
Change is uncomfortable, uncertain, but sometimes necessary.
And if the whole move fails miserably, at least we have the reruns.--2)-¦+â-Ür+â-+~zo_phillips_6.14DNEditorial--2SORT+â-ä2AUDT
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